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Tree

Posted: 11 Nov 2015, 18:13
by abester43
The gentle touch of the leaf
softer on my skin
running its fingers up my
spine

spineless and full of envy
its leafy touch leaves me
green
and breaking pace
with the oxygen I expect and I need

the gentle touch of the bark
brown and rough on my skin
the deepening passion of its kiss
and the way it will leave me behind

Re: Tree

Posted: 13 Nov 2015, 08:46
by DATo
I like the play on words you use. Particularly the last sentence if I correctly understand what you are going for. The bark (tree) will, in all likely-hood, continue to exist on earth after we are gone.

Nice job. I liked it.

Re: Tree

Posted: 18 Jan 2016, 01:13
by DarkestbeforeDawn
I like the temporal feel of this poem. It's a good reminder how people aren't truly meant to last the same way that nature will.

Re: Tree

Posted: 19 Feb 2016, 11:55
by jessicah
This is beautiful - the unity we can have with nature is frequently undervalued in our modern society. I find it an uplifting reminder of how precious our lives are, short and so small. But the power comes from our hearts in the little interpersonal moments

Re: Tree

Posted: 09 Mar 2016, 11:31
by VSandoval01
Could easily be used for poetry slam, from how you played with your words.
"Spineless and full of envy, its leafy touch leaves me, Green" - Favorite line. Great work!