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Next Time If

Will you sift all the sands?
Taste the salts of every sea?
Talk all the talks of every tongue?
Interpret every cloud?

Or will you keep your mouth shut,
Do an Everest or two and forget to mention it?
Will you love everyone in secret, no matter what?
Or
Next time if there is a garden,
Will you sit there of an evening and watch it get dark?

Although I do think it is important to go out and experience the world, is it really such a bad thing to keep things to yourself? Climbing Everest isn't a small feat, but is it any less because you don't discuss it? I feel bad criticizing poetry, but a lot of poetry is dependent upon interpretation. Don't take it personally.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate the criticism. My intent with this poem was that it should express the plus side of quiet contemplation with out self serving talk or the egotism that obscures authentic experience. It seems that I have for you created just the opposite impression. If so, the failure is entirely mine.

I think this poem sets up nicely the contrast between two life styles. While neither is negative, I love your portrayal of the latter, it remind me of a quote from one tree hill (corny, I know) in which Peyton talks about "the quiet satisfaction that comes from leading a good life." This poem is well written, despite the possible misinterpretation, because much of its power is in it's ambiguity

Metomorpher wrote:I think this poem sets up nicely the contrast between two life styles. While neither is negative, I love your portrayal of the latter, it remind me of a quote from one tree hill (corny, I know) in which Peyton talks about "the quiet satisfaction that comes from leading a good life." This poem is well written, despite the possible misinterpretation, because much of its power is in it's ambiguity

Thank you for reading and for the kind and interesting comments. I see that you're fairly new to the forum. If you write poetry or fiction, or reviews I look forward to reading them.

I am quite new, I am currently reviewing my first book, the sky drifter by Paris singer and i have also posted a couple of poems

For me the poem depicts different phases of life...there are times when one is out in the world, enjoying every aspect and there are times when there is solace in sitting in the garden...very well written. ...