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Fence

Posted: 03 Dec 2015, 17:51
by stanley
Fence


I reach over
with casual offer of greener grass.
I could smile at her calm greed,
but I must forgive her slavery to boundaries and constant digestion.

Because I am not of her master's house, she regards me with some interest .
I regard back.

I would reach again to touch the beauty of her great sensitive body,
reach for the authentic secret mind deep within nervous muscle
and ponderous bone.
I would if one of my contriving race
could reach so far.

We regard, she and I, across more than fence,
Our condescension (or not)
mutual.

Re: Fence

Posted: 04 Dec 2015, 02:50
by DATo
Very, very good! I enjoyed this a lot.

Re: Fence

Posted: 06 Dec 2015, 22:34
by seelkins
So very beautiful.

Re: Fence

Posted: 07 Dec 2015, 21:10
by stanley
thank you DATo and Seelkins for reading and your kind remarks.

Re: Fence

Posted: 02 Jan 2016, 06:06
by Mitj4
Beautiful..

Re: Fence

Posted: 04 Jan 2016, 22:10
by stanley
welcome to the forum. Thank you for reading and commenting. Do you write poetry or fiction yourself?

Re: Fence

Posted: 17 Jan 2016, 22:27
by DarkestbeforeDawn
This is a very interesting read, I like how it is very open-ended and up for interpretation. The alluded relationship between the speaker and the female are interesting. But maybe it's a little too abstract for me.

Re: Fence

Posted: 21 Jan 2016, 22:28
by stanley
Thank you for reading. Sorry if the meaning is obscure. That was not my intention. I meant only to present a certain mutual response between a man and a horse, and the sense of the man's respect for the mystery of animal consciousness.

Re: Fence

Posted: 22 Jan 2016, 18:19
by DATo
stanley wrote:Thank you for reading. Sorry if the meaning is obscure. That was not my intention. I meant only to present a certain mutual response between a man and a horse, and the sense of the man's respect for the mystery of animal consciousness.
I, for one, did not consider the meaning obscure: it was direct and poignant. Two different creatures bound by their individual limitations regard and appraise each other with wonder. The question is left open as to whether or not their mutual appreciation is not also tempered with the element of "condesention". We as humans regard ourselves the masters of such animals, but beside such magnificently magisterial beasts how small and insignificant we appear.

Re: Fence

Posted: 24 Jan 2016, 10:29
by mbieber13
I really enjoyed this piece, it was not what I was expecting. If I was given an assignment of writing a poem about a fence I think I would be stumped, but you really gave the fence a voice and made it so much more than a 'fence'.

Re: Fence

Posted: 25 Jan 2016, 12:54
by CzechTigg
Like the variety and the structure. It's quite deep and meaningful, and has some real social commentary too.

Re: Fence

Posted: 11 Feb 2016, 01:42
by Metomorpher
It's about a horse?! I love that it could have been about anything and the end result would have been just as poignant! Well done, Stanely, an excellent command of language.

Re: Fence

Posted: 12 Feb 2016, 03:43
by pallavi garg
Jus loved it....greed of animal for greener pastures and appreciation of a beautiful beast....well written. ..

Re: Fence

Posted: 12 Feb 2016, 06:46
by DATo
Metomorpher wrote:It's about a horse?! I love that it could have been about anything and the end result would have been just as poignant! Well done, Stanely, an excellent command of language.
Very nice catch Metomorpher. I took it to be a horse but after reading your post I became suddenly aware that the poet had not mentioned what was on the other side of the fence. The absence of this information adds a whole new dimension to the poem. Thanks for mentioning it.

Re: Fence

Posted: 12 Feb 2016, 10:50
by CCtheBrave
I love when poets have a strong enough image coming through in their writing to use simple language. Nicely done.

I wonder, though, is the repetition of 'fence' and 'regard' on purpose? Just wondering about the choice to repeat vs using other words.