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This is a poem I wrote a few years ago, as part of a poetry class. We wrote eighty or more poems/works that semester, and it was hard, and I love how some of them turned out. I would love some of your feedback.


Silence of Earth

The sun is hidden behind the cloud
the clouds weep blood.
The blood fills all our rivers, they run loud
to fill the ocean with mud.

The clouds weep blood,
they turn to dust, fill the desert
to fill the ocean with mud.
Blood floats in the air, vaporized chert.

They turn to dust, fill the desert:
red rain, steaming ice.
Blood floats in the air, vaporized chert,
The ice cubes are full of dead mice.

Red rain, steaming ice
the penguins and seals are trapped,
the ice cubes are full of dead mice,
Armageddon has been tapped.

The penguins and seals are trapped,
The blood fills all our rivers, they run loud
Armageddon has been tapped,
The sun is hidden behind the cloud.

this poetry style takes a lot of discipline and I admire that you would attempt it. I enjoyed this poem because of the question it raises in me: is the bleeding "life blood" or is the earth dying? it becomes apparent that it is the latter. my one comment on your writing is that it comes across as disjointed, is that purposeful? lovely work, aparsons

Thank you! You know, it took me a while to remember how this was written, and I agree, it was a difficult style. I did enjoy some of the restrictions within the poetry styles. I appreciate your feedback, I think the bleeding can be all sorts of references, it can encompass the book of Revelations, the symbolism of global warming, etc. Its up to interpretation!

I love the imagery I get when reading the poem. I read it almost three times and still I envision an Earth like planet slowly withering away into what Mars is today. I can even see it turned into an anime short. Great work!

PS: new to the community. Happy to see a large number of people who share the same passion as I do.

Thank you so much! And welcome! I'm fairly new myself, and I really like how you likened it to Mars. I just reviewed a book that has very similar imagery and plot.