Playing to a crowd of one

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Metomorpher
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Playing to a crowd of one

Post by Metomorpher »

One word
One try
On leap
One click
One clap
Playing to a crowd of one is better than singing to a nation who can’t hear
Here,
I stand, making puns only I can’t laugh at
Jokes I didn’t have the humour to write.
Pluralisation,
Only seems good in the present tense
And I need to loosen up
Because the tense has me hanging by a thread
Oh snap,
My extended metaphor has gotten a bit old
Old as well, is this mood I get in when letting go is part of letting show
And you’re thinking: “that’s what I met her for”
stanley
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Latest Review: "Return to the Go-Go" by William Peskett

Post by stanley »

Metomorpher wrote:One word
One try
On leap
One click
One clap
Playing to a crowd of one is better than singing to a nation who can’t hear
Here,
I stand, making puns only I can’t laugh at
Jokes I didn’t have the humour to write.
Pluralisation,
Only seems good in the present tense
And I need to loosen up
Because the tense has me hanging by a thread
Oh snap,
My extended metaphor has gotten a bit old
Old as well, is this mood I get in when letting go is part of letting show
And you’re thinking: “that’s what I met her for”
It"s always hard for me to say what I see and am not able to see in a poem, but this one is one that I will return to several times, I think. The overall expression of some kind of weariness with the attempt to reconcile private individual formulation and public offering is interesting. (...singing to a nation that cannot hear...pluralisation...letting go is part of show...). Also the word play on "tense" is interesting with resolution in "Oh snap." The last line is intriguing in that it reinforces the implicit question about to whom and for what purpose do we say anything. There's much to ponder here. Maybe that's what makes for good poetry.
Latest Review: "Return to the Go-Go" by William Peskett
User avatar
Metomorpher
Posts: 58
Joined: 16 Dec 2015, 23:13
Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... 39907">The Bachman Books</a>
Currently Reading: The Sky Drifter
Bookshelf Size: 25
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-metomorpher.html

Post by Metomorpher »

Thank you so much stanley! It is so exciting for someone to critically engage in my work!
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