"The Finch"
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760torr
- Posts: 1
- Joined: 18 Mar 2016, 21:03
- Bookshelf Size: 0
"The Finch"
"The Finch"
She hops closer, chirping
Softly. He sees her, but he does not see.
Turns away.
Feathers rise and wings extend,
A splendid display of adoration.
Futility.
She sings a beautiful song,
Notes of love intermittent with notes
Of longing.
He doesn't know how he needs her,
But she knows all too well.
Side by side,
He looks forward, she looks
Only at him.
She continues to sing,
He listens but does not hear.
Engaged in a halfway harmony,
His company is the salve to her wounds.
For she knows
That if he were to fly away,
She could not follow.
Her song would fade,
Her wings would slow.
And a heart
Once aglow with thoughts and hopes
Of love,
Would know only despair.
-v.d.
She hops closer, chirping
Softly. He sees her, but he does not see.
Turns away.
Feathers rise and wings extend,
A splendid display of adoration.
Futility.
She sings a beautiful song,
Notes of love intermittent with notes
Of longing.
He doesn't know how he needs her,
But she knows all too well.
Side by side,
He looks forward, she looks
Only at him.
She continues to sing,
He listens but does not hear.
Engaged in a halfway harmony,
His company is the salve to her wounds.
For she knows
That if he were to fly away,
She could not follow.
Her song would fade,
Her wings would slow.
And a heart
Once aglow with thoughts and hopes
Of love,
Would know only despair.
-v.d.
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DATo
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 6017
- Joined: 31 Dec 2011, 07:54
- Bookshelf Size: 0
Very nice, and beautifully written. My compliments!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
― Steven Wright
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Metomorpher
- Posts: 58
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I like it! I love poems about animals that are more than they seem.
Nice crisp writing, I enjoyed the feeling of being rocked between the two subjects POV it was disorientating while still keeping momentum, good work!
-- 03 Aug 2016, 12:57 --
I like it! I love poems about animals that are more than they seem.
Nice crisp writing, I enjoyed the feeling of being rocked between the two subjects POV it was disorientating while still keeping momentum, good work!
Nice crisp writing, I enjoyed the feeling of being rocked between the two subjects POV it was disorientating while still keeping momentum, good work!
-- 03 Aug 2016, 12:57 --
I like it! I love poems about animals that are more than they seem.
Nice crisp writing, I enjoyed the feeling of being rocked between the two subjects POV it was disorientating while still keeping momentum, good work!
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jhmende
- Posts: 52
- Joined: 15 Aug 2016, 21:34
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- Latest Review: "Blowing Sandstorm" by Horace Crenshaw, Jr.
Hey there, 760torr!
I really enjoyed the title! Something about the title caught my eye, and I'm glad that I stumbled upon it. It has a lot of meaning hidden in its somewhat simple story, and it is beautifully told.
Very well done!
I really enjoyed the title! Something about the title caught my eye, and I'm glad that I stumbled upon it. It has a lot of meaning hidden in its somewhat simple story, and it is beautifully told.
Very well done!
Latest Review: "Blowing Sandstorm" by Horace Crenshaw, Jr.
