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Sky

Posted: 24 Mar 2016, 17:49
by Marianaleivap
I saw the sky but it was not
The magnificent and triumphant one
That books promise
Noble nor eternal heaven
Where our souls turned themselves in
And our bodies rest

Last night I looked the sky and saw
That each star was tied
They were mine but not of my belonging
I tried to drop them to see it clearly

See clearly the sky that complete landscaped
That sky poets and painters love
That sky was no longer mine
Rather it was of those I let capture my stars

One day I wanted to see the sky
A magnificent and triumphant one
I did not recognize it and it was too late

Re: Sky

Posted: 25 Mar 2016, 01:00
by Jaw
Really beautiful, I like it.

Re: Sky

Posted: 26 Mar 2016, 17:21
by Marianaleivap
Jaw wrote:Really beautiful, I like it.
Thank you! I glad you liked it!

Re: Sky

Posted: 29 Mar 2016, 22:50
by Raven Potter
Very well written. The message is clearly implied without being directly stated. I love it :3 Great job :D

Re: Sky

Posted: 30 Mar 2016, 08:16
by pallavi garg
I too would like to see magnificent and triumphant sky...beautifully written. ... :tiphat:

Re: Sky

Posted: 30 Sep 2016, 17:14
by Genaaa
Excellent work! I love the way the meaning is wove between and into the words you chose to use.

Re: Sky

Posted: 21 Oct 2016, 23:20
by Witty_Read
Well written, i like how you continued the topic from one portion to the next yet changed the meaning behind the words as you went. The ending sentence brought a feeling of sadness, when the rest of the poem was somewhat soothing; it was a nice twist.