She Makes Me Happy
Posted: 28 May 2016, 07:17
I am currently working on a piece and this is what I have so far. (it is written in both me explaining to her, and her understanding...if that makes sense)
When she says "you make me happy" I know what she really means by it
"You make me happy" is the easiest way for her to say:
When I'm with you my mind doesn't fall into the darkness where terrible thoughts hide like monsters ready to tear through my heart
The ache in my chest subsides, you're the pain killer that my doctor can't seem to prescribe
And though I'm never really truly happy you make it seem like someday I could be. Because I've fallen victim to the wrath of my countless thoughts, leaving me defeated, beaten and falling apart.
You make me happy is the way she tells me that:
She is comfortable around me even in the body that she hates so much that she has tried thousands of times to cut herself out of. That she doesn't worry about not eating for 36 hours because 36 hours is when your body really starts to tear at itself and that's the optimum result for losing to get to her ultimate goal weight. And she tells me that I make her happy but I know it means:
You make my anxiety attacks go away faster. I like it when you pay attention to me, even though I never want anyone to ever see me.
I tell her she makes me happy, it's the only way I know how to tell you that my heart pounds when I get to see you but not in the way that it normally is when I feel worried that I'm going to fall ridiculed by my over active emotions. How when you're presence crowds me without making me gasp for air. And you listen to me words fall off my tongue like a thunderstorm of worries and ideas.
I don't make her hands shake, or her shoulders collapse into themselves. Folding her into the origami of a broken girl.
To enjoy your company so much to the point of always wanting to be with you.
I make her think twice about letting go of the sliver of life she has left
She makes me yearn to want to be here.
She says i make her happy
I tell her she makes me happy
In hope she'll understand all that it means.
Please let me know what you think!
When she says "you make me happy" I know what she really means by it
"You make me happy" is the easiest way for her to say:
When I'm with you my mind doesn't fall into the darkness where terrible thoughts hide like monsters ready to tear through my heart
The ache in my chest subsides, you're the pain killer that my doctor can't seem to prescribe
And though I'm never really truly happy you make it seem like someday I could be. Because I've fallen victim to the wrath of my countless thoughts, leaving me defeated, beaten and falling apart.
You make me happy is the way she tells me that:
She is comfortable around me even in the body that she hates so much that she has tried thousands of times to cut herself out of. That she doesn't worry about not eating for 36 hours because 36 hours is when your body really starts to tear at itself and that's the optimum result for losing to get to her ultimate goal weight. And she tells me that I make her happy but I know it means:
You make my anxiety attacks go away faster. I like it when you pay attention to me, even though I never want anyone to ever see me.
I tell her she makes me happy, it's the only way I know how to tell you that my heart pounds when I get to see you but not in the way that it normally is when I feel worried that I'm going to fall ridiculed by my over active emotions. How when you're presence crowds me without making me gasp for air. And you listen to me words fall off my tongue like a thunderstorm of worries and ideas.
I don't make her hands shake, or her shoulders collapse into themselves. Folding her into the origami of a broken girl.
To enjoy your company so much to the point of always wanting to be with you.
I make her think twice about letting go of the sliver of life she has left
She makes me yearn to want to be here.
She says i make her happy
I tell her she makes me happy
In hope she'll understand all that it means.
Please let me know what you think!