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Atlas stands on shaky knee's.

Posted: 15 Jun 2016, 00:17
by ncoard
i put my hand to your shoulder, the mantelpiece of your body where your heart rests.

it is torn and weathered but it bleeds nothing but gold,
nothing but kindness,
nothing but love.


you’ve been shocked, drowned, stabbed, torn to pieces both physically and emotionally but here you are, holding a hand out to anyone with a beating heart and a sliver of hope ( even if they’ve lost hope, you give them a piece of yourself to keep them going.
are you running out of things to give?
is there anything left?
are you lighting yourself ablaze to keep everyone else warm?
oh atlas, your ashes can’t hold everything up like you do. ).


you take on everything and everyone,
i bet your mother falls asleep
proud
and terrified.

Re: Atlas stands on shaky knee's.

Posted: 02 Aug 2016, 18:36
by Metomorpher
oh wow, that last stanza! perfect ending, I will say, however that you lost me a little in the middle -not so much with the writing as with the punctuation/form- but seriously powerful imagery!