The Immortal

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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BookaholicAuthor
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The Immortal

Post by BookaholicAuthor »

The Immortal
© Suzanne Kyle 2014

Trapped in my own little world
Devoid of love and of light
I would give it a whirl
But for the eternal night
There's nothing left for me
To feel, to hear, to see
My life has been over
For years upon years
That one day I'll be older
Is not one of my fears
When once I had family
As well as close friends
I now have my memory
Of when they came to an end
I've been through many things
Seen many abstract beings
The wolves that howl
Balefully in the night
The others that scowl
With their blood red eyes
Which am I you ask
Neither fiend nor ghost
When setting myself to task
I'm the one that I like most
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

At the fourth line I was reminded of Hamlet's soliloquy. This poem reflects much of the same resignation and hopelessness that Hamlet felt.

Nice effort! I enjoyed reading it. Please write more.
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MarisaRose
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Post by MarisaRose »

Really enjoyed your poem! I love how in such a short piece you are able to convey a slew of emotions.

Favorite part: the way your first line "Trapped in my own little world" ties in so very well with your last line "I'm the one that I like most."

Very moving piece, would love to read more! :D
Genaaa
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Post by Genaaa »

At first, I wasn't sure what to expect. This is definitely an amazing work and I love how it's written. Definitely seems like you're an excellent writer, never give that up. :)
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