You Don't Care About Me
Posted: 06 Oct 2023, 18:36
I use to think we were the same exact person,
With the same heart, same brain,
Just different genders and called by similar names,
As a woman I gave you the most valuable thing I own,
My heart,
But I guess the cost wasn’t as profitable as I thought,
I lied awake at night wondering what parts of myself should I rearrange in hopes that you change your mind about me,
But that would’ve been too easy,
I thought the problem was you but really it was me,
I allowed myself to give you control over what I think, see, and even eat,
I wanted to become your perfect version of a woman,
But never questioned if you even deserved it,
You complained constantly about your life,
So I was willing to provide a full ride to a safe space,
With the only strings being loved attached,
But I guess you didn’t want that,
Instead you wanted to stay in a place where the hurt and the pain can always remain,
I wanted to save you
But when you showed your true colors I realized I don’t even know who you are,
I tried to convince myself that it was just intoxication,
I really wanted to believe,
But how long can I continue to stay deceived,
And try to run away from the truth which is you don’t care about me,
At least as much as I cared about you,
Now I think about why did I allow myself to be blind,
By the charm, the way you dignify yourself,
The way I thought you really cared about my health, my heart and my mind,
But that was just a lie,
Now I have to go to re-find myself,
So I take off the shackles you call friendship,
Because I’d rather be alone than deal with the hardship you relinquish on me,
With the same heart, same brain,
Just different genders and called by similar names,
As a woman I gave you the most valuable thing I own,
My heart,
But I guess the cost wasn’t as profitable as I thought,
I lied awake at night wondering what parts of myself should I rearrange in hopes that you change your mind about me,
But that would’ve been too easy,
I thought the problem was you but really it was me,
I allowed myself to give you control over what I think, see, and even eat,
I wanted to become your perfect version of a woman,
But never questioned if you even deserved it,
You complained constantly about your life,
So I was willing to provide a full ride to a safe space,
With the only strings being loved attached,
But I guess you didn’t want that,
Instead you wanted to stay in a place where the hurt and the pain can always remain,
I wanted to save you
But when you showed your true colors I realized I don’t even know who you are,
I tried to convince myself that it was just intoxication,
I really wanted to believe,
But how long can I continue to stay deceived,
And try to run away from the truth which is you don’t care about me,
At least as much as I cared about you,
Now I think about why did I allow myself to be blind,
By the charm, the way you dignify yourself,
The way I thought you really cared about my health, my heart and my mind,
But that was just a lie,
Now I have to go to re-find myself,
So I take off the shackles you call friendship,
Because I’d rather be alone than deal with the hardship you relinquish on me,