Embrace

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Aohanlon86
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Embrace

Post by Aohanlon86 »

To feel warm and safe in your embrace is like heaven I never know. What I thought was love was not. As we talk and walk. I realized that we could of met a lot sooner if I made different choices. That doesn't matter now cause I am now warm and safe in your embrace
Andrea O'Hanlon
Twisted Creations Home & Bath
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Ljessup
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Post by Ljessup »

I enjoy the simplicity of this poem. It is straight to the point without spiraling throughout. I would add some things here and there, for example, in your starting verse I would put an "a" in between "like" and "heaven." I would also change "of" to "have" after "could." I have never been a fan of "a lot," but that is just my own personal way of writing. I would go with something like "substantially" that way you can involve alliteration and get a crisp verse out of it. You could do more and still keep it to the point, but all in all the idea that you have portrayed is beautiful!

Latoshia
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