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Bombing Biba

Posted: 13 Dec 2016, 10:29
by Cas Greenfield
Bombing Biba by Casimir Greenfield

The acrid carbide fumes burned his eyes in the crisp air above the London streets.

Flamingos screeched in monochrome: splashing blindly in the roof pools behind him, their cries melting into a melange of The Ritz and The Continental.

Dawn caught him seven floors up and drifted dreamlike around him.

No one was watching.

Re: Bombing Biba

Posted: 19 Jan 2017, 15:39
by [CA]
Haunting. "No one was watching." The birds startled me. Then I read about the Biba store and learned that there was a roof garden on top of the building so perhaps the flamingos are actually literal. And they are oblivious to all but their splashing. Not even the birds are watching.

Re: Bombing Biba

Posted: 19 Jan 2017, 16:14
by Cas Greenfield
...this happened. I was on the roof garden when the mayhem began. This is now the opening lines of book two of a young adult series I'm writing.

Re: Bombing Biba

Posted: 22 Jan 2017, 09:00
by mewsmash
It's hard for a very short poem to convey a lot of emotion. However, it seems you did it well. I really enjoyed this!

Re: Bombing Biba

Posted: 23 Mar 2017, 07:58
by Lincoln
I love that it is short yet captures a lot happening in it. Well done!