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Moonlight Soft

Posted: 24 Mar 2017, 18:11
by Sean Bracken
Moonlight Soft by Sean Bracken

Feet. Feet on the floor. Cold penetrating
Ice. Having all power over nature
Urges. Compelling my progression
Ease. Release of pure expression
Flush. Disposal of my urination
Retreat. Feet retracing cold path
Heat. Warmth all pervasive
Snuggle. Back in the womb
Safe. Secure at last. In my bedroom
Sleep. Once again. Can't come too soon.
Intent. Install indoor plumbing
Reason. Abolish. Cold pissing
Night. Night after night after night
Light. Under. Natures soft moonlight

Re: Moonlight Soft

Posted: 25 Mar 2017, 08:26
by DATo
@Sean Bracken

A nice snapshot Sean. I like those summation words at the end of each sentence. I am not aware of ever encountering that device in poetry before, but it absolutely works. Clever - how you could take such an everyday and commonplace experience and bracket it so succinctly. Also, the staccato meter of the poem contributes to expressing the double urgency of responding to both to nature's call as well as the desire to return to the warm bed to escape the cold.

Nicely done. My compliments!

/

Re: Moonlight Soft

Posted: 25 Mar 2017, 11:53
by Sean Bracken
Thank's DATo,

I wrote it very much tongue in cheek and wasn't really sure if it worked. The warm bed represents false security, the nightly trip to the outhouse represents a habit that holds us back and installing plumbing represents the power of change.

Of course. it's also a simple story of answering the call of nature. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Sean

Re: Moonlight Soft

Posted: 26 Mar 2017, 13:38
by Jaime Lync
Really enjoyable read...I think I had a couple of years with no indoor plumbing as a child but thank God I was too young to remember the experience.