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Colorful creation
Posted: 02 May 2017, 18:30
by Jaime Lync
grassy green pastures,
brown skin pastor
singing rhythm and blues
about the crimson red flow
that makes me and you
white as snow
snow, fades as it melts
but the sky is left
with a colorful belt
that reminds us that this green earth
will not drown in muddy brown waters
let's sing the rhythm and blues
about the crimson red flow
that makes me and you
white as snow
Re: Colorful creation
Posted: 03 May 2017, 02:18
by DATo
WOW! Excellent poem.
I don't know what your intent was but I interpret the first three lines literally as a black pastor preaching in a rural area. The "singing in rhythm and blues" draws me to the idea of a Baptist minister. He is singing about the "red flow" which I can only interpret as the blood which makes all men the same.
"Snow fades as it melts" to me means that the red blood which makes us all the same ("white as snow") is eventually going to die (melt) and all men merge in one stream of faded memory after death, but this water is not muddy brown but elevated to a new level of being in the water's reflected blue from the sky (we go from being human to something which transcends flesh and blood and becomes spiritual).
The final stanza asks us all to join in a song of recognition that we are all part of the "crimson red flow" that makes us all the same = brothers and sisters.
Am I close to being right?
I like the way you actually used color words: red, green, blue (implied), crimson, white, brown as a feature within your poem to accent the underlying theme.
Nice job! No, I'll go further than that. This is as good as any recognized poet's poem that I've read in a long time.
Re: Colorful creation
Posted: 03 May 2017, 13:53
by Jaime Lync
Wow. I am honoured by such a grand compliment. Your interpretation is on point with my mentality when I was writing this poem but I doubt I could have explained it as clear as you did in your analysis. I am always elated to find out that readers enjoy my poetry, especially when I put a message of unity and hope into it.
Once again, glad you liked it.
Re: Colorful creation
Posted: 03 May 2017, 13:58
by Jessiebessie123
Wow reminds me of the Poccohontis song colours of the wind.