Alcoholic Smell

ANDREW MBAGO · Post by **ANDREW MBAGO** » 15 May 2017, 06:10

The alcoholic smell from you mouth
would make a little child drunk
or perhaps vomit the little milk
she has sucked and swallowed
from her mother's two padded breasts.

Jaime Lync · Post by **Jaime Lync** » 05 Jun 2017, 20:07

Interesting... I have heard that some poets don't want people to ask them to make their poems longer but I think this poem can deliver an even greater message with a few more lines. it is good but it doesn't seem to be finished. Just my two cents.

ANDREW MBAGO · Post by **ANDREW MBAGO** » 06 Jun 2017, 06:12

Thank you Jaime for taking your valuable time to read my poem.Your comments and thoughts are highly valued.I will do my level best to add more lines if that can flavor the poem.But some poems are always short and perhaps that is why some poets don't want to be asked to make their poems longer.

Keep reading!

QueenAda · Post by **QueenAda** » 08 Jun 2017, 07:11

I had anticipated much more, actually opened with so much expectation but i guess those other words are yet to come.

ANDREW MBAGO · Post by **ANDREW MBAGO** » 12 Jun 2017, 05:48

Thank you Queen Ada for reading my poem.Your thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration.

Keep reading!

Mashell Chapeyama · Post by **Mashell Chapeyama** » 13 Jul 2017, 03:21

It is a well rounded poem.

Ndalila Peter · Post by **Ndalila Peter** » 13 Jul 2017, 03:54

I salute the writer, the poem is precise and delivers a great message. For sure may you receive my high five. I think it can give everyone an anxiety of reading. Keep it up

ANDREW MBAGO · Post by **ANDREW MBAGO** » 13 Jul 2017, 05:53

Many thanks Mashell for your comments.

Keep reading!

-- 13 Jul 2017, 05:58 --

Thank you Ndalila Peter for your thoughts and comments.I gladly take your high five with a slight pat on your back.

Keep reading!

-- 15 Jul 2017, 03:15 --

The alcoholic smell from your mouth
would make a little child drunk
or perhaps vomit the little milk
she has sucked and swallowed
from her mother's two padded breasts.

The little milk would help improve
the little child's health condition
and would help the little child grow healthy
so don't choke the little child
with your alcoholic breath.