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When I Say

Posted: 25 Jul 2017, 04:41
by ANDREW MBAGO
When i say i hate you
don't take it as a joke.

When i say i love you
don't take it as a joke.

When i say i am hungry
don't get angry with me.

When i say you're beautiful
don't try to be boastful.

When i say your hands are raised
don't say they'll not be lowered.

When i say nature is benevolent
don't say it will not be malevolent.

When i say your wall is concrete
don't say there will be no crack.

When i say go fetch clear crystal water
don't ask me for a container basket.

When i say love is full of sweet apples
don't say the apples will no get rotten.

When i say you're churning milk in a gourd
don't raise shoulder in praise of your cow.

Re: When I Say

Posted: 25 Jul 2017, 04:59
by Caren mueni
Amazing

Re: When I Say

Posted: 25 Jul 2017, 05:41
by ANDREW MBAGO
Thank you Caren.What are your thoughts on structure,rhyme pattern and the message?

Re: When I Say

Posted: 04 Aug 2017, 05:35
by Ambreen Kiran
Superb
Thanks for Sharing

Re: When I Say

Posted: 04 Aug 2017, 06:08
by ANDREW MBAGO
Thanks Ambreen for your thoughts and feelings on the poem.