Village of the Watermills

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Sundae Tobias
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Village of the Watermills

Post by Sundae Tobias »

With the river flowing and the birds chirping
It was a good day to go walking
Greeting people with a wide grin
As the watermills continues to spin

The village was simple and beautiful
Simply sitting there would be peaceful
They seem persistent to follow tradition
To which a funeral cause for celebration

Inspired from Dreams(1990) by Akira Kurosawa
ANDREW MBAGO
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Post by ANDREW MBAGO »

This is very interesting Sundae.You have used end rhymes so well and you have imaginatively created a cool atmosphere for someone who would love to go out and listen to the rhythmic voices of the chirping birds and to enjoy the cool breeze from the flowing river.I think there is a grammatical error in the 1st stanza fourth line which should read ''As the watermills continue to grin''. Thank you for sharing with us this beautiful and colorful poem.

Keep writing!
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Sundae Tobias
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Post by Sundae Tobias »

ANDREW MBAGO wrote:This is very interesting Sundae.You have used end rhymes so well and you have imaginatively created a cool atmosphere for someone who would love to go out and listen to the rhythmic voices of the chirping birds and to enjoy the cool breeze from the flowing river.I think there is a grammatical error in the 1st stanza fourth line which should read ''As the watermills continue to grin''. Thank you for sharing with us this beautiful and colorful poem.

Keep writing!
Thank you for your feedback. Anyway, the error you pointed out isn't really an error well for me at least, I actually intended it as it is. Perhaps you meant grind not grin? :D :D
Gabyap
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Post by Gabyap »

This a very powerful piece, I'm still digesting it.
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Sundae Tobias
Posts: 20
Joined: 10 May 2017, 18:41
Favorite Author: Rick Riordan
Currently Reading: The Colossus Rises
Bookshelf Size: 82
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-sundae-tobias.html
Latest Review: Marrying a Playboy Billionaire by H M Irwing
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Post by Sundae Tobias »

Thank you. :)
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