On Hold

[Lincolnshirelass]

Not long ago I found that I
had problems with my power supply,
so what was the next thing I did?
Ring the helpline they provided,
which (and they were proud to say)
was open 24 hours a day.

The only problem was that I
had not grasped the reason WHY ....
At first a message sweetly told
me that, yes, I was on hold,
but they'd soon attend to me -
for I mattered to them, you see ...

The voice departed, replaced soon,
by the 'Four Seasons' out of tune
its tinny tinkling looping round
in waves of irritating sound,
only relieved when now and then
the sweet voice spoke to me again.

I was IMPORTANT they assured,
so thought, well, I'll not be ignored,
and there I sat, and still on hold
while the house grew dark and cold,
by torchlight, huddled in a sweater,
thought, this only can get better.

The hours went by, my butt grew numb,
thinking, soon, some help will come,
they will not leave me waiting here,
phone pressed to my aching ear,
while, each hour of night and day
murdered Vivaldi droned away.

Then - AT LAST - a new voice spoke!
At first I feared it was a joke,
but it was a human tone
resonating down my phone,
not recorded! And instead
'please can I help you?' she said.

Suddenly my world looked bright
as I informed her of my plight,
and waited, hoping, from a distance,
for some imminent assistance.
Someone coming to my aid .....

" WRONG EXTENSION, I'M AFRAID!"

[Dolor]

Applause! Fireworks to your masterpiece! Cheerings for you!