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A Feline's Schedule
Posted: 17 Aug 2018, 08:25
by Emi_Review
Wake at 3am
Wake up servants
Demand food
Eat food
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Go on daily hunt
Hunt
sh*t
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Grace servants with appearance
Play
Punish servants, claw, nip, hiss
Demand food
Eat food
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep.
Re: A Feline's Schedule
Posted: 23 Aug 2018, 10:35
by palilogy
laughing at the sh*t line
i would remove the title or allude to the fact that it is a feline without directly saying so
creates intrigue
Re: A Feline's Schedule
Posted: 25 Aug 2018, 16:58
by Emi_Review
palilogy wrote: ↑23 Aug 2018, 10:35
laughing at the sh*t line
i would remove the title or allude to the fact that it is a feline without directly saying so
creates intrigue
Thank you, I didn't think too much about the title and the overall impact it could have on the poem but I see your point about creating the intrigue
Re: A Feline's Schedule
Posted: 20 Nov 2018, 20:20
by sarahmarlowe randomeducator
Cute! You captured the cat's day so well that it made me miss my cat who passed this year. After I read the "hunt" part, I remembered him bringing his kills to the porch. Yuck! But, he was so proud!
I like the repetition of "Sleep." That's what they love to do! I think it's perfectly fine the way you've written it. The only suggestion I have IF you want to revise is to get a little rhythm going with the verse.
Thank you so much for posting this for all the world to see! Keep writing!
