That Demon Named Anxiety
Posted: 28 Aug 2018, 06:43
Anxiety is a cruel cold demon,
Its possession surrounds my mind in a black mist,
turning and shaping me into a different being,
my body, now just a hollow vessel:
I'm scared to ask a question,
I'm scared to talk,
what embarrassing spew will rush out of my mouth today?
Who will I offend?
The demon clamps my mouth shut.
I make a tiny mistake,
the demon reminds me for hours later,
it keeps me tossing and turning at night,
taunting,
my eyes are black.
A group of people are laughing behind me,
oh God, are they laughing at me?
'Of course they are' the demon sneers.
My heart races, I feel dizzy, I feel weak.
I'm going to be a failure today,
I'm not good enough, smart enough,
enough.
A presentation in front of my peers?
I can't, I can't, I can't!
I clench my jaw, ball my fists, I feel sick.
Criticisms are like a dose of Holy water,
I recoil, cringe and burn in shame,
I knew I'd be a failure.
My friends ask me to go out,
claws dig into my mind,
I don't want to go but I can't say no.
We sit in a restaurant, everyone laughs around me,
I force a smile whilst worrying about how I'm eating.
'All eyes are on you' taunts the demon,
I only manage ten bites.
I'm a hostage to a demon,
it won't let me pick up a phone for help.
I'm trapped.
I need help.
I need an exorcist.
Its possession surrounds my mind in a black mist,
turning and shaping me into a different being,
my body, now just a hollow vessel:
I'm scared to ask a question,
I'm scared to talk,
what embarrassing spew will rush out of my mouth today?
Who will I offend?
The demon clamps my mouth shut.
I make a tiny mistake,
the demon reminds me for hours later,
it keeps me tossing and turning at night,
taunting,
my eyes are black.
A group of people are laughing behind me,
oh God, are they laughing at me?
'Of course they are' the demon sneers.
My heart races, I feel dizzy, I feel weak.
I'm going to be a failure today,
I'm not good enough, smart enough,
enough.
A presentation in front of my peers?
I can't, I can't, I can't!
I clench my jaw, ball my fists, I feel sick.
Criticisms are like a dose of Holy water,
I recoil, cringe and burn in shame,
I knew I'd be a failure.
My friends ask me to go out,
claws dig into my mind,
I don't want to go but I can't say no.
We sit in a restaurant, everyone laughs around me,
I force a smile whilst worrying about how I'm eating.
'All eyes are on you' taunts the demon,
I only manage ten bites.
I'm a hostage to a demon,
it won't let me pick up a phone for help.
I'm trapped.
I need help.
I need an exorcist.