Two & A Half Men quotes

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 13 Apr 2011, 21:47

Lets list our favourite two and a half men quotes.

But to start off with, I'd like to ask everyone a question. Did anyone notice that Chelsea was in the pilot? She was a woman in the supermarket.

Anyways, my fave quote is; Harry Dean Stanton: "It doesn't matter what the calendar says, you're as old as you feel. And I feel like...boiled crap!"

Zekes · Post by **Zekes** » 13 Apr 2011, 22:18

Here's my favorite Two and a half men quotes

Jake: Taste this.
Charlie: I don't need to taste it. It's a chocolate laxative.
Jake: I think it needs more caramel.
Charlie: I'm telling you, Alan, one of these days that kid's gonna fart and birds are gonna fall out of the sky.

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 13 Apr 2011, 22:27

Thats a good one. I also like the whole scene where Alan & Charlie pretend to be gay for each other in the first season. It's hilariously funny how quickly and easily Jon Cryer can morph into a gay guy.

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 14 Apr 2011, 10:39

"Charlie Sheen, you are an overpaid, talentless, whore-using crack addict who is about as funny as cancer, you are fired"

Thats my fave one

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 14 Apr 2011, 14:52

What episode is that from?

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 14 Apr 2011, 14:54

Probably the last one, i imagine.

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 14 Apr 2011, 15:14

StephenKingman wrote:"Charlie Sheen, you are an overpaid, talentless, whore-using crack addict who is about as funny as cancer, you are fired!"

That's probably not even from the show. That was what Warner Brothers said to Charlie after he took enough cocaine to kill 2 & 1/2 men!

BookWorm617 · Post by **BookWorm617** » 14 Apr 2011, 20:53

I like the epsiode where the boy seems depressed. Everyone keeps asking him what wrong and talking about taking him to a psychiatrist. Turns out the kid was constipated LOL!!

Aditd · Post by **Aditd** » 17 Apr 2011, 05:54

They fight a lot 31.
-31?!
- You know 24 / 7. 24 +7 = 31 ( Jake )

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 22 Apr 2011, 21:34

Jake sees the naked ass of Charlie's girlfriend and then draws it in class. Alan freaks out, and this is the dialogue that ensues.

Charlie: He saw a woman's ass. He liked it! Now, thank your lucky stars it wasn't the cable guy's ass and move on!

Robert_mark · Post by **Robert_mark** » 13 May 2011, 01:59

Jake: I got to see penguins and a manta ray. I got to pet a shark, and the coolest thing was the whales. They splashed everybody. You could see right through this one lady's shirt. I think she had plants.
Charlie: Implants.
Jake: Yeah, implants. I asked grandma if she had them and grandpa said, "Aw, I wish." And then she got mad at him and then they bought me ice cream.

Maud Fitch · Post by **Maud Fitch** » 02 Oct 2011, 20:13

Thought I'd resurrect this thread to ask what everyone thinks of the new man, Ashton Kutcher?

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 02 Oct 2011, 20:29

Maud Fitch wrote:Thought I'd resurrect this thread to ask what everyone thinks of the new man, Ashton Kutcher?

Ashton is ok, but he isn't even close to Charlie's funniness. I know he needs to be eased into the show, but I still think Charlie is better.

Maud Fitch · Post by **Maud Fitch** » 05 Oct 2011, 07:53

Cnc_theft_auto wrote:
Maud Fitch wrote:Thought I'd resurrect this thread to ask what everyone thinks of the new man, Ashton Kutcher?
Ashton is ok, but he isn't even close to Charlie's funniness. I know he needs to be eased into the show, but I still think Charlie is better.

Agreed. There's something too controlled, too low-key about the whole thing now; nothing crazy, impetuous, zany or outrageous seems to happen. Charlie used to shake things up.

Cnc_theft_auto · Post by **Cnc_theft_auto** » 05 Oct 2011, 16:06

Maud Fitch wrote:
Cnc_theft_auto wrote:
Maud Fitch wrote:Thought I'd resurrect this thread to ask what everyone thinks of the new man, Ashton Kutcher?
Ashton is ok, but he isn't even close to Charlie's funniness. I know he needs to be eased into the show, but I still think Charlie is better.
Agreed. There's something too controlled, too low-key about the whole thing now; nothing crazy, impetuous, zany or outrageous seems to happen. Charlie used to shake things up.

Agreed.

-- Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:06 am --

Maud Fitch wrote:
Cnc_theft_auto wrote:
Maud Fitch wrote:Thought I'd resurrect this thread to ask what everyone thinks of the new man, Ashton Kutcher?
Ashton is ok, but he isn't even close to Charlie's funniness. I know he needs to be eased into the show, but I still think Charlie is better.
Agreed. There's something too controlled, too low-key about the whole thing now; nothing crazy, impetuous, zany or outrageous seems to happen. Charlie used to shake things up.

Agreed.