Where Would You Be Right Now If These Forums Didn't Exist?

Teesie · Post by **Teesie** » 07 May 2011, 17:02

Butterbescotch wrote:You are not child are you? I thought you are already married.

No, I might as well be though. I've been with the same guy for 5 years. Although, to be completely honnest, I'm glad I'm not married to him. Things seem to go downhill a lot more that they go up between us. We're constantly fighting. He thinks reading is the stupidist waste of time on the face of the planet. I have to admit, I don't pay a lot of attention to his hobbies because frankly they make me mad. But he's always telling me if I would "Get your nose outta that book, you might know what's going on in the "real" world." Personally, I don't give a high piled hill of beans about the "real" world and what he considers to be reality. "Reality" from where I'm sitting has gone all to hell anyway, so why should I care. I just try to live my life day to day, and get some kind of enjoyment out of it before it's over. "Reality" for me is waking up just about every morning to the sound of him cussin like a sailor over some stupid something that nobody cares about but him. My "reality" is being called names and cussed at everyday just because I'm not perfectly how he wants me to be. My "reality" is being absolutely miserable every day of my life, and every time I make a step toward something good, toward making it better, he jumps in the way and tells me to stop being a stupid child daydreaming all the time. So I "stick my nose in a book" as he likes to say, and I ignore him, because that's all I can do anymore. I've tried everything I know to try. Nothing works with him.

I guess ya'll are tired of hearing me go on, so I guess I"ll stop now before I get myself all worked up again....

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 07 May 2011, 17:52

Wow, it looks like you need to find someone who has the same interests as you.Im no good at giving advice for something like that, but it sounds like you are as different as night and day. I dont know, you would probably be better off alone and out of that situation. I wish I could tell you something more to help you, but all I can say is, feel free to blow your top, theres people here that will listen and help if they can.

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 07 May 2011, 17:54

Teesie wrote:
Butterbescotch wrote:You are not child are you? I thought you are already married.
No, I might as well be though. I've been with the same guy for 5 years. Although, to be completely honnest, I'm glad I'm not married to him. Things seem to go downhill a lot more that they go up between us. We're constantly fighting. He thinks reading is the stupidist waste of time on the face of the planet. I have to admit, I don't pay a lot of attention to his hobbies because frankly they make me mad. But he's always telling me if I would "Get your nose outta that book, you might know what's going on in the "real" world." Personally, I don't give a high piled hill of beans about the "real" world and what he considers to be reality. "Reality" from where I'm sitting has gone all to hell anyway, so why should I care. I just try to live my life day to day, and get some kind of enjoyment out of it before it's over. "Reality" for me is waking up just about every morning to the sound of him cussin like a sailor over some stupid something that nobody cares about but him. My "reality" is being called names and cussed at everyday just because I'm not perfectly how he wants me to be. My "reality" is being absolutely miserable every day of my life, and every time I make a step toward something good, toward making it better, he jumps in the way and tells me to stop being a stupid child daydreaming all the time. So I "stick my nose in a book" as he likes to say, and I ignore him, because that's all I can do anymore. I've tried everything I know to try. Nothing works with him.

I guess ya'll are tired of hearing me go on, so I guess I"ll stop now before I get myself all worked up again....

Sounds like a destructive relationship to me. If you dont secretly want all this hassle or get a buzz from drama then i would look elsewhere for companionship or even be a happy singleton, its not a crime.

GotThatSwing · Post by **GotThatSwing** » 07 May 2011, 17:55

If this forum didn't exist maybe I'd move my butt from the computer

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 07 May 2011, 17:58

GotThatSwing wrote:If this forum didn't exist maybe I'd move my butt from the computer

Yeah, thats all well and good, but would you walk or run from your computer?? Thats pretty much milked to death right, Swing? Lets just give it a funeral

GotThatSwing · Post by **GotThatSwing** » 07 May 2011, 18:01

StephenKingman wrote:
GotThatSwing wrote:If this forum didn't exist maybe I'd move my butt from the computer
Yeah, thats all well and good, but would you walk or run from your computer?? Thats pretty much milked to death right, Swing? Lets just give it a funeral

I have a track at home you know...

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 07 May 2011, 18:03

GotThatSwing wrote:
StephenKingman wrote:
GotThatSwing wrote:If this forum didn't exist maybe I'd move my butt from the computer
Yeah, thats all well and good, but would you walk or run from your computer?? Thats pretty much milked to death right, Swing? Lets just give it a funeral
I have a track at home you know...

Well its been emotional Swing, i will miss the old walk or run....

Teesie · Post by **Teesie** » 07 May 2011, 18:04

@Mike and Bighuey: You two sound like my Mama. Everybody keeps telling me to leave him. But it doesn't seem to work for some reason. And it's not for lack of trying either. I guess it's just because the only time I actually get up the guts to pack and leave is when we're fighting. Then I stop myself because I don't want to leave in the middle of a fight. I want us to sit down and agree to disagree and part ways friends. From here, though it doesn't look like that will ever happen.

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 07 May 2011, 18:26

If your situation is as explosive as that, its not likely you would part friends. Sometimes a person just has to be a hard-ass and make up their mind and do what is best for them, no matter how hard it would be.It might be rough for a while, but better in the long run. Its something you have to decide for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.

Teesie · Post by **Teesie** » 07 May 2011, 18:31

Bighuey wrote:If your situation is as explosive as that, its not likely you would part friends. Sometimes a person just has to be a hard-ass and make up their mind and do what is best for them, no matter how hard it would be.It might be rough for a while, but better in the long run. Its something you have to decide for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.

Would you believe me if I told you that's just the tip of the iceberg? I'm a chicken I guess. I hate being alone. Terrified of it. Or at least I used to be. Who knows, after all I've been through with him, I might enjoy lonliness.

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 07 May 2011, 18:36

You might enjoy being alone until you find someone else. Could be thats what you need for a while to sort out your feelings.

StephenKingman · Post by **StephenKingman** » 07 May 2011, 18:50

Teesie wrote:
Bighuey wrote:If your situation is as explosive as that, its not likely you would part friends. Sometimes a person just has to be a hard-ass and make up their mind and do what is best for them, no matter how hard it would be.It might be rough for a while, but better in the long run. Its something you have to decide for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.
Would you believe me if I told you that's just the tip of the iceberg? I'm a chicken I guess. I hate being alone. Terrified of it. Or at least I used to be. Who knows, after all I've been through with him, I might enjoy lonliness.

I dont understand that when people say they are terrified of being alone and would put up with anything rather than be alone. Being alone shows you can be independent and able to enjoy your own company and sometimes you gotta be alone if only even to find out who exactly you are and what you want.

Teesie · Post by **Teesie** » 07 May 2011, 18:52

Yes, but that would be hard to explain to him. Even if I went about in the nicest way possible he would start yellin, and knowin him he would probably bring up the forum and make some big deal out of it thinking that I've found someone on here or some crap, and then he'll go on about how that would be stupid and it would all be a big mess. Then there I would be trying to leave in the middle of a fight again. I've been fighting this, trying to do something for over a year now, and I just can't seem to pick myself up far enough to do it.

I know I'm better than this. I know I deserve better, and yet I can't bring myself to just be strong and just go. Mama tell me to just call her and she'll come help, but then I'll look like a big baby crying home to mama and that's not what I want. But the more I think about it, the more I believe that's what's it's gonna take. To have Mama as a support system to get me through all of his raving and ranting while I pack. Oh, well, idk what I'm gonna do....

I feel like I'm wasting my life away. I wanted to be a strong independant woman, and now I've let him make me just the opposite, and it sickens me to know that I've fallen this far from where I used to be. I was more grown and mature at 16 than I am today. I've gone backwards. And it's becoming the hardest thing ever to move forward again.

Gannon · Post by **Gannon** » 07 May 2011, 19:12

I am really sorry Butterbescotch, but I have absolutely no idea what you mean by "layout".

There are actually but there layout turns me off. (I won't name them of course )

Teesie · Post by **Teesie** » 07 May 2011, 19:14

StephenKingman wrote:
Teesie wrote:
Bighuey wrote:If your situation is as explosive as that, its not likely you would part friends. Sometimes a person just has to be a hard-ass and make up their mind and do what is best for them, no matter how hard it would be.It might be rough for a while, but better in the long run. Its something you have to decide for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.
Would you believe me if I told you that's just the tip of the iceberg? I'm a chicken I guess. I hate being alone. Terrified of it. Or at least I used to be. Who knows, after all I've been through with him, I might enjoy lonliness.
I dont understand that when people say they are terrified of being alone and would put up with anything rather than be alone. Being alone shows you can be independent and able to enjoy your own company and sometimes you gotta be alone if only even to find out who exactly you are and what you want.

I already know who I am and what I want. I just want somebody to share that with.