What you talkin' about?!

[C0ldf1re]

... Hes got a good one for a wife and also one for a husband but I dont remember them...

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

Bierce had no definition for WIFE (that I know of), but the nearest is:

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. It is credited by many of the elder zoologists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now. The species is the most widely distributed of all beasts of prey, infesting all habitable parts of the globe, from Greeland's spicy mountains to India's moral strand. The popular name (wolfman) is incorrect, for the creature is of the cat kind. The woman is lithe and graceful in its movement, especially the American variety (felis pugnans), is omnivorous and can be taught not to talk.

[Bighuey]

That was it. Bierce had a strange sense of humor, Ill have to dig out my copy and look through it.

[Fran]

If someone promised my mother they would do something but failed to do it she'd say 'That one would promise you the sun, moon & stars but you'll have to go collect them yourself'.

'Got it Easy, Mortal lazy' is another one of my mother's means someone from a moneyed background who didn't have to earn their living.

'Mind mice at a crossroads' or 'Wouldn't give you the steam off their p1ss' are both used in Ireland to describe someone who is very mean or tightfisted.

'A sooner' = someone who would do anything rather than work ... most commonly used by tradesmen.

'He won't survive the 10 o'clock tea' = a new worker who is not up to the job.

I just thought of another one 'Talking into the big white telephone' ... being sick in the loo especially drink induced.

[Bighuey]

Heres another one, Praying to the porcalean god, means throwing up in the toilet

[Jp1978]

... extrajudicial killing.

That, in itself, is a new one to me!

It's scary that it happens so often that there's a word for it.

[Fran]

Heres another one, Praying to the porcalean god, means throwing up in the toilet

Oh that's a nice one !

[StephenKingman]

If someone promised my mother they would do something but failed to do it she'd say 'That one would promise you the sun, moon & stars but you'll have to go collect them yourself'.

'Got it Easy, Mortal lazy' is another one of my mother's means someone from a moneyed background who didn't have to earn their living.

'Mind mice at a crossroads' or 'Wouldn't give you the steam off their p1ss' are both used in Ireland to describe someone who is very mean or tightfisted.

'A sooner' = someone who would do anything rather than work ... most commonly used by tradesmen.

'He won't survive the 10 o'clock tea' = a new worker who is not up to the job.

I just thought of another one 'Talking into the big white telephone' ... being sick in the loo especially drink induced.

Some new ones there, Fran! never heard of the Mind mice at a crossroads but for tight-fisted people:

"they wouldnt spend Christmas"

People who got notions of themselves "I remember him when he hadn't an arse in his trousers"

"A vag"- a man who loved gossiping with women.

No doubt others will come to mind when i think of them

[Fran]

"A vag"- a man who loved gossiping with women
Never heard that ... must be a Waterford one

'Beggar on horseback' = someone with notions of their importance

[StephenKingman]

"A vag"- a man who loved gossiping with women
Never heard that ... must be a Waterford one

'Beggar on horseback' = someone with notions of their importance

Keep em coming!

A secretive person "he wouldnt tell his left hand what his right one was up to"

[C0ldf1re]

... A secretive person "he wouldnt tell his left hand what his right one was up to"

Matthew 6:1-4 (But) take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

[Bighuey]

When the eagle s----, that means its payday. In Utah they said seagull instead of eagle.

[Euphoriameantime]

"Three sheets to the wind" when you're drunk.
"a snake in the grass" someone who's sneaky or a liar
"Take your medicine" Owning up to the consequences of your actions
"Just off the boat" - Someone who's naive or uninformed
"I was born at night, but not last night" I'm not a fool
"I ate my wheaties today" When you're performing at your best.
"Two bowls of stupid" When someone does something silly or dumb.

Toilet expressions

"Bat stuck in the belfry" When you're constipated
"Prarie Dogging" When you're holding in a BM.

[Bighuey]

Open a can of kick-ass-going to do some hard work

[Teesie]

In reply to the question "What time is it?" my Mama says "About 2 hairs to the bone" and my Papa says "Time old dogs was dead, ain't you glad you're a pup?"

[Bighuey]

"Ive got the GI's" means Ive got diarhea. A friend of mine would say hes got to go to the library when he goes to take a dump. My dad would tune an ukelele by saying, "I f---d a cow" I dont know how a person would tune a guitar that way, maybe throw in a couple extra cows. Id hate to think about tuning a 12 string guitar that way. Be kind of messy.