The Jokes, Chistes, Blagues, Witze, and Barzellette

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 10 Dec 2010, 02:25

So reading something from another thread gave me this idea.
I know I thoroughly enjoy jokes of just about any kind and I know that sometimes one is all it takes to brighten someone's day.

So now people, this is the place to bring your jokes.

Knock knocks, stories, and pranks one and all!

I'll start with an old family fave...

A redhead, blonde, and brunette were captured by terrorists. Right before they were to be executed the leader asked them if they had any last words. So the girls got together and talked about what to say... When time was up, the terrorists decided to kill the brunette first. So as one of the soldiers said "ready, aim" the brunette yelled "earthquake!" and all of the terrorists started running around yelling "where where! run!" So they decided they'd kill the redhead first. Once again, "ready, aim..." "tornado tornado!" And again the terrorists ran around yelling. So they skipped her too and decided to shoot the blonde girl. Right after the terrorists says "ready, aim..." the blond yells "FIRE!"
BANG.

That's for you Dum!

laci_baby · Post by **laci_baby** » 10 Dec 2010, 05:38

haha...Gee i feel loved.

Nice. i love blonde jokes. Yays!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a desert island. They find a genie's lamp and agree they'll each get one wish.
The brunette says "I wish i were home with my family!" *pOOf* She disappears.
The redhead says "Me too me too! I wish i were home!" *pOOf* She disappears.
The blonde starts crying and says "I wish my friends were here!"
*pOOf*

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 10 Dec 2010, 21:13

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all go to a company for a job interview. The brunette goes in first and after 10 minutes the interviewer's last question is "how many Ds in Indiana Jones?" "one" replies the girl. So the man says thank you and he'll call.
Then the redhead goes in next and again after 10 minutes he asks how many Ds in Indiana Jones, and of course she replies "one."
Then the blonde goes in and after ten minutes the interviewer asks "how many Ds in Indiana Jones?" Then after a few minutes of pensive thought and counting with her fingers she says "could I have a calculator please?" So with a confused look the interviewer gives her one. Then finally a few minutes later the blonde says "36 Ds!"
Confused the interviewer asks her why 36.
"Well," replies the blonde, "it goes like this! Da da da daaa da da daaa! da da da daaa, da da daa daa daa!"

laci_baby · Post by **laci_baby** » 05 Jan 2011, 19:51

Ok... i must be very blonde because i still dont get it.

Zekes · Post by **Zekes** » 15 Mar 2011, 21:57

Stinkin' Fascist wrote:A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all go to a company for a job interview. The brunette goes in first and after 10 minutes the interviewer's last question is "how many Ds in Indiana Jones?" "one" replies the girl. So the man says thank you and he'll call.
Then the redhead goes in next and again after 10 minutes he asks how many Ds in Indiana Jones, and of course she replies "one."
Then the blonde goes in and after ten minutes the interviewer asks "how many Ds in Indiana Jones?" Then after a few minutes of pensive thought and counting with her fingers she says "could I have a calculator please?" So with a confused look the interviewer gives her one. Then finally a few minutes later the blonde says "36 Ds!"
Confused the interviewer asks her why 36.
"Well," replies the blonde, "it goes like this! Da da da daaa da da daaa! da da da daaa, da da daa daa daa!"

Geez, I don't know if I'm really that dumb because I didn't get the joke