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I think this topic will (ultimately) belong here, and not in book discussion...just bear with me. And if not, just boot it.
The sitch: An almost fifteen-year-old boy (not mine) asked for The Anarchist Cookbook for his birthday. He's basically a good kid, but he's been in a fair amount of trouble...mostly just bad judgement calls, I think. His dad says he (kid) wants the book for "entertainment value", but he (dad) doesn't really seem to know much about the content.
Here's the dilemma: do I tell the dad--whom I know pretty darn well (we sleep next to each other almost every night)--that I think his kid could potentially get in MAJOR trouble if he gets his hands on this book? Or am I being a nosyparker? He (dad--Rooster) hasn't asked for my opinion, but, again, he doesn't really know what's in the darn thing. Would it be irresponsible of me to keep my mouth shut, knowing that this kid could (and most likely would) damage himself or other people with the information he'll get from TAC? And....well, you can already get most of that info online, anyway. So would it really make a difference? Or am I rationalizing?
Yeah, I'm really overthinking this thing. So tell me to calm down, or something, please!
And, just for the record, I wouldn't get that book for ANY fifteen-year-old, no matter how mature they are. I wouldn't get it for a 55-year-old. But I would get it for myself, so figure that one out.

What is Anarchist Cookbook? It sounds like something that would tell how to build atom bombs, poison gas bombs, create germ warfare devices or be a terrorist and destroy your neighborhood and the civilized world along with it. If its something like that I dont think I would let a 15 year old have it. I wouldnt even want the damned thing. But then again....

It's not quite so refined. Pipe bombs, simple incendiary devices, bleach bombs....plus a lot of bs about "natural" drugs (nutmeg)(?)...basically a guide to breaking the law. I'm not gonna buy it for him; that's a given. But. Well, okay...I've been dating this kid's dad for over six years, so it's not like I'm some random whatever. I guess it comes down to this: I don't really want to be the one to tell him that his kid wants a book about bombs and drugs and stickin' it to "the man" (and, frankly, I'm not sure the kid knows the book's about, either), but....I'll feel awful if I don't say anything and kiddo ends up hurting himself or someone else...or worse...arg.
And I can't really play dumb, 'cause
a. I was in/hung out with punk bands in my (distant) youth, and those guys carried TAC around like it was a bible and they were born again, and Rooster (dad) knows that, and
b. I'd have to punch myself in the face.

I dont know, it sure makes a person wonder what the world is coming to when kids are thinking about things like that. I must be getting old. I still live in an Ozzie and Harriet world,

Hmm, maybe you could tell your partner to find out for himself first what the book is about then let him make the judgement call whether he should get his kid the book?

It's free on the internet. If a 15-year-old asked his parents for it, I would bet that that is a cry for help rather than a genuine request. He might as well ask his parents for porn.

That's just my inexpert opinion of course.

I've written and deleted about five times already...screw it. I'm just afraid of stepping on toes; butting in where I don't belong. But who cares if he gets pissed at me 'cause he thinks I'm saying that his kid's a deviant (which is probably exactly what he will think, which is why I've had so much anxiety over this stupid issue). What matters is the kid in question...and yeah, I think this probably is a cry for help (one of many), but there's not a whole lot I can do about that...what I can do is tell his father...my boyfriend...exactly what is in that book, and he can take it (or not) from there. What I'd LIKE to do is get both parents and kiddo into a small room with a big therapist who'll say, "Hey! You've got a smart, funny, suffering, self-destructive son here! Why don't you try listening to him once in a while?"...and run like hell. 'Cause it really isn't my business. Dammit.

RuqeeD wrote:Hmm, maybe you could tell your partner to find out for himself first what the book is about then let him make the judgement call whether he should get his kid the book?

That's a very good suggestion, but that'd most likely guarantee that he wouldn't check it out...the Rooster tends to bury his head in the sand when it comes to his kids...then he can plead ignorant and blame the kids' mother. Or me, in this case, 'cause I didn't get in his face and tell him not to get that damn book. He already knows that something's up, 'cause I've told him that I won't buy it and I NEVER refuse to buy a book for a kid. So I'm gonna tell him and it'll probably start a huge freakin' fight, but so what? It's not like we've never fought before. Might as well do something we're good at.

Thank you, everyone, for your perspective and suggestions! I've made way too big a deal about this, and you've helped a lot...just venting about it has helped. As my grandmother would say, y'all is good folk!

edited to add:

Scott wrote:He might as well ask his parents for porn.

My (fourteen-year-old) son has gotten his dad's copy of SI's Swimsuit Edition every year since he was twelve. After dad's done with it, of course. Yeesh! It's not quite porn, but it did open the door for us to talk about pornography and unrealistic body images/ideas/behavior regarding women. I've gotta thank my ex for that...