Stylistic or Error?

[Tanya Schmidtchen]

Hi! I have recently received feedback on a review that I would like some clarification on. As an editor myself, I know we're not perfect, and some newer ones can be a little overzealous. However, I need to make sure I have justification before requesting a recheck.

"Editor Comments:
1-2-Linda does a fair job of meshing memoir with leadership guide, but this definitely leans more heavily towards a memoir with inserted life lessons.

should be: Linda does a fair job of meshing (the) memoir with (a) leadership guide, but this definitely leans more heavily towards a memoir with inserted life lessons."
I believe this is subjective, but not sure how to word it in my request.

"4- While she continued to learn and hone her skills in her later years through advanced degrees and professional development, she knows the foundation of learning she was given was indispensable.

should be: While she continued to learn and hone her skills in her later years through advanced degrees and professional development, she (knew) the foundation of learning she was given was indispensable."
She did the learning and skill honing (in the recent past) but she knows (in the present as the author) that the foundation she was given (in the far-back past) was indespensible. Maybe I am wrong on this one.

5-(new paragraphs starting without any break, or breaks mid-paragraph)

should be: (new paragraphs starting without any break() or breaks mid-paragraph)"
comma usage rules escape me. This could also be objectively wrong.