Errors explanation

[Hager Salem]

Hi,

May I know if these were right corrections? And if so, can I get explanations?
I don't seem to understand the editors' reasons when it comes to commas

Editor Selection: 3 error(s)

Editor Comments:
“Ryan was part Saurian, because his father was half Saurian, which means Wingless Dragon or Earth Dragon.” should be “Ryan was part Saurian because his father was half Saurian, which means Wingless Dragon or Earth Dragon.”

“I can say it would make an excellent movie, that could turn into a series of fantasy movies.” should be “I can say it would make an excellent movie that could turn into a series of fantasy movies.”

“I liked how he talked about his parents, and how his sense of humor disappeared during the hard times in the streets after the slaughter, only to come back when he belonged to a family again.” should be “I liked how he talked about his parents and how his sense of humor disappeared during the hard times in the streets after the slaughter, only to come back when he belonged to a family again.”

[MsH2k]

Editor Comments:
#1 “Ryan was part Saurian, because his father was half Saurian, which means Wingless Dragon or Earth Dragon.” should be “Ryan was part Saurian because his father was half Saurian, which means Wingless Dragon or Earth Dragon.”

#2 “I can say it would make an excellent movie, that could turn into a series of fantasy movies.” should be “I can say it would make an excellent movie that could turn into a series of fantasy movies.”

#3 “I liked how he talked about his parents, and how his sense of humor disappeared during the hard times in the streets after the slaughter, only to come back when he belonged to a family again.” should be “I liked how he talked about his parents and how his sense of humor disappeared during the hard times in the streets after the slaughter, only to come back when he belonged to a family again.”

Hi.

In #1, the comma is not needed because the clause “because his father was half Saurian” is a subordinate clause and is essential—it tells how Ryan was part Saurian. A comma would only be used if it added clarity to the sentence or if the clause was not essential. Here is a source that describe this case:
https://prowritingaid.com/comma-before-because

In #2, the comma is not needed because “that” introduces a defining clause. This means it further defines the movie and is essential. Section #4 in this Purdue OWL link discusses this further. It also states that “that clauses after nouns are always essential.”
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writ ... ommas.html

In #3, the comma is not needed because it is not separating independent clauses. The comma is in error because it is in the middle of a compound object. You liked two things: 1) how he talked about his parents and 2) how his sense of humor disappeared.

Section #14 in the above Purdue OWL link covers compound objects. In fact, I recommend that entire article on commas. It clearly explains comma usage, and I have found it to be extremely helpful.

Sometimes, whether an element is essential or not depends on the writer’s intent, but in each of these cases, I think the editor correctly marked the errors.

I hope this has been helpful.

[Hager Salem]

I hope this has been helpful.
[/quote]

Indeed, that was very helpful. Thank you for your time and effort.

[kipper_]

The first two corrections are good feedback recommendations. I would argue that the third is more of a personal writing preference, however. Countless writers use commas frequently and stylistically in the same manner that you've used in the third sentence, usually for intentionally setting tone and pacing. Some people (including myself) prefer to omit the commas in those areas when drafting more technical writing, but in creative and casual writing, it is perfectly acceptable. I would not have counted that as an error.

In your case, I wouldn't bother with a recheck, because the first two points are good suggestions. You could improve the third sentence by using an em dash instead of a comma if you want to make the break more intentional and stand apart from the rest of your writing.

[Hager Salem]

The first two corrections are good feedback recommendations. I would argue that the third is more of a personal writing preference, however. Countless writers use commas frequently and stylistically in the same manner that you've used in the third sentence, usually for intentionally setting tone and pacing. Some people (including myself) prefer to omit the commas in those areas when drafting more technical writing, but in creative and casual writing, it is perfectly acceptable. I would not have counted that as an error.

In your case, I wouldn't bother with a recheck, because the first two points are good suggestions. You could improve the third sentence by using an em dash instead of a comma if you want to make the break more intentional and stand apart from the rest of your writing.

This was helpful. Thank you.