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What is the best way to capture multiple thoughts about the same idea?
I'm not a big fan of semicolons, but I find my grammatically correct options limited when I'm trying to replicate a stream of consciousness.

Here's an example I'm struggling with:
A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, that's how we know the characters and love the story.

Any suggestions please?

It's ok, in my opinion, to have some artistic license. I read many articles stating that short sentences can create more of a bond and impact with the reader than long ones that make a piece of work boring or too wordy...even if they are about the same thoughts. So a bit like..

A good director can give you an inside view. A perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how...

And variations of that use.

The semi colon and comma is still a good use though....This is only my opinion.

For that specific sentence, I can think of a few alternatives. "A perspective of what a character is thinking" is basically an elaboration (aka a parenthetical statement) of "inside view", so it can be taken out. There, we see the big problem.
"A good director can give you an inside view, that's how we know the characters and love the story."
To make this sentence correct without breaking it up or using a semicolon, "that's" needs to be changed. The possibilities I can think of are "and that's" and "which is". Also, if you ever want to reduce comma use, you could use dashes around the parentheticals (which I personally think looks nicer).

"A good director can give you an inside view - a perspective of what a character is thinking - which is how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, and that's how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, which is how we know the characters and love the story."

In general, there are three ways to fix run-on sentences. First, break them up into two (or more) sentences. Second, use a semicolon. Third is to make one part of the sentence dependent on the other. The most common way to do that is to add an "and". In this case, "which" is a good replacement for some uses of "that".
As for breaking it up, that's a little more awkward with the parenthetical there, but a dash or a regular colon can fix that.

"A good director can give you an inside view - a perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view: a perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how we know the characters and love the story."

So you have a few options there, which are all grammatically correct. Basically, pick the one that works best with your writing style and run with it.

K-McD wrote:For that specific sentence, I can think of a few alternatives. "A perspective of what a character is thinking" is basically an elaboration (aka a parenthetical statement) of "inside view", so it can be taken out. There, we see the big problem.
"A good director can give you an inside view, that's how we know the characters and love the story."
To make this sentence correct without breaking it up or using a semicolon, "that's" needs to be changed. The possibilities I can think of are "and that's" and "which is". Also, if you ever want to reduce comma use, you could use dashes around the parentheticals (which I personally think looks nicer).

"A good director can give you an inside view - a perspective of what a character is thinking - which is how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, and that's how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, which is how we know the characters and love the story."

In general, there are three ways to fix run-on sentences. First, break them up into two (or more) sentences. Second, use a semicolon. Third is to make one part of the sentence dependent on the other. The most common way to do that is to add an "and". In this case, "which" is a good replacement for some uses of "that".
As for breaking it up, that's a little more awkward with the parenthetical there, but a dash or a regular colon can fix that.

"A good director can give you an inside view - a perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view: a perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how we know the characters and love the story."

So you have a few options there, which are all grammatically correct. Basically, pick the one that works best with your writing style and run with it.

These are good alternatives.

Thank you all, this was very helpful.
I think the shorter sentences will definitely help. I like the suggestion of dashes - they're a beautiful visual break! I've an irrational worry that the semi colon signaled a rigid and rule-driven mentality. Let me give the dash-breaks a spin for my next assignment.

MsMartha wrote:

K-McD wrote:For that specific sentence, I can think of a few alternatives. "A perspective of what a character is thinking" is basically an elaboration (aka a parenthetical statement) of "inside view", so it can be taken out. There, we see the big problem.
"A good director can give you an inside view, that's how we know the characters and love the story."
To make this sentence correct without breaking it up or using a semicolon, "that's" needs to be changed. The possibilities I can think of are "and that's" and "which is". Also, if you ever want to reduce comma use, you could use dashes around the parentheticals (which I personally think looks nicer).

"A good director can give you an inside view - a perspective of what a character is thinking - which is how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, and that's how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view, a perspective of what a character is thinking, which is how we know the characters and love the story."

In general, there are three ways to fix run-on sentences. First, break them up into two (or more) sentences. Second, use a semicolon. Third is to make one part of the sentence dependent on the other. The most common way to do that is to add an "and". In this case, "which" is a good replacement for some uses of "that".
As for breaking it up, that's a little more awkward with the parenthetical there, but a dash or a regular colon can fix that.

"A good director can give you an inside view - a perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how we know the characters and love the story."

"A good director can give you an inside view: a perspective of what a character is thinking. That's how we know the characters and love the story."

So you have a few options there, which are all grammatically correct. Basically, pick the one that works best with your writing style and run with it.

These are good alternatives.

Good one really.