Misunderstood

[cevogelpohl12]

I was hurt when I read
the words you had written,
all the pain and confusion
and confession to every sin.

You talked about smoking,
cigarettes and weed,
your obsession, your want,
and your desperate need.

You said you were a failure,
a disappointment to us all,
you'd given up caring
after always feeling so small.

You grew so distant,
always wanting to be alone.
You were always hiding in your room
never wanting to make your feelings known.

You came home late every night
just happy the less you were there.
No one was able to judge your actions,
but you figured no one would care.

What you never seem to realize
is how lucky you truly are,
to have a family who loves you,
that wants you to have a good life and go far.

No matter how much we fought,
I still miss the old "you,"
the athletic and fun one
who's thoughts I always knew.

By reading your personal thoughts,
I know I crossed a line,
but I don't regret it at all,
because not everything is fine.

On the surface
you're cool and collected,
all is well,
nothing abnormal detected.

But underneath everything,
I know that you are hurting.
You won't admit it,
but there's something for which you are searching.

So turn to God,
because He's not going anywhere.
You can always talk to Him,
and He will always care.

-Caitlin Vogelpohl, 2012