I Have a Few Poems of My Own

[Nathrad Sheare]

I really appreciate your words, Barabas_T. As I've written, you have an eye for detail. You're constructive criticism is spot- on. I'm very glad about that. Not very many people I know are very helpful when it comes to reviewing my work. It's nice to have people around who know how to give more than an "Oh, this is great!" when I present a page to them. It's important especially when I want to get a project moving faster. It takes days for a writer to get out of the mode of a particular piece so he can more coherently judge and correct it later. Sometimes we just don't have days, do we?

"Encompassed in a bubble of music." You ARE a writer, aren't you? I want to thank you for your honesty. Thank you SO MUCH! I enjoy reading all of your comments. If your short stories have the same comfortable essence they do, you're doing great!

[Timea]

Thank you and you are very welcome I am glad that my opinions were of some help to you

[Nathrad Sheare]

I eagerly await a post of your work.

[Timea]

I will wipe the dust off of something next week

[anomalocaris]

You do amazing work! Thanks for letting us read it! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's thought that way about soap!

-- 22 Jun 2014, 14:17 --

I really appreciate your words, Barabas_T. As I've written, you have an eye for detail. You're constructive criticism is spot- on. I'm very glad about that. Not very many people I know are very helpful when it comes to reviewing my work. It's nice to have people around who know how to give more than an "Oh, this is great!" when I present a page to them. It's important especially when I want to get a project moving faster. It takes days for a writer to get out of the mode of a particular piece so he can more coherently judge and correct it later. Sometimes we just don't have days, do we?

"Encompassed in a bubble of music." You ARE a writer, aren't you? I want to thank you for your honesty. Thank you SO MUCH! I enjoy reading all of your comments. If your short stories have the same comfortable essence they do, you're doing great!

Ah. if I'd known you wanted it taken apart... Well. Next time I worked with a group one time where, when I was new, I asked if it was okay for new member to post work on a certain board. Fella posted back, saying, "Post away! I promise to say something mean and nasty about it." I loved that! We critiqued each other regularly until the day of his unfortunate passing. Most people don't like their poetry critiqued because it tends to be of a personal nature, so I don't generally go there unless I know they want me to.

[Nathrad Sheare]

Don't worry about it. My interest is in the ART and CRAFT of writing. I want to improve so much as I can. My goal is to gain the ability to detail and explain myself and other characters, places, and ideas, in the BEST way possible.

I'm so sorry about your friend... I'd be happy to be your critique subject for as long as you like. I've lost a friend, myself. I still don't think the grief has settled... I appreciate your comments very much.

[Timea]

I've just read your ""Aria's End" and I liked it

However, it seems to be too much going on and this takes away from its beauty and power. If you stripped it down a little I think it would be a lot better.

Again there is music in your work and the same circular approach as in your essay, but I quite enjoyed these . It is a very visual piece, here are some of my favorite parts:

"pans that are drowning in the mouth of the stainless steel altar"

"I don't know what's the music of the stars, but..." I really enjoy the contrast between the music of the stars, the heavenly, and what follows, the earthly.

"whispers, the whistling of winds"

"spinning sea of mist in the midnight sky" this is just a beautiful image.

P.S. I'm sorry about both of your friends...

[anomalocaris]

I'm always impressed by poets who can write that sort of poetry. I'm told that I create powerful images, but I've never been able to use really floral language. I guess I'm more Hemingway than Shakespeare! You're one of those who can write in a way where the language itself is interesting, even if the meaning is not always immediately clear.

[Timea]

I agree with you, anomalocaris, Nathrad Sheare does have an interesting use of language

[Nathrad Sheare]

You're both very encouraging. Sorry it's been a bit. Circumstances...

I love words. That's the gist. Therefore, much of my work is very, well, wordy. I appreciate the forward criticism, Barabas_T, and your condolences to both anomalocaris and me. You're very gracious in many ways. I also thought it was amazing that you got the point of the lines you quoted so quickly. My college teacher told me there was NO way of interpreting.g their meaning... Figures... Usually I find intelligence outside the classroom. That was awesome, friend.

Anomalocaris... I really appreciate you r words. Shakespeare is one of my inspirations, though I'm definitely.itely trying to tone down the ornamentation... I want my work to be beautiful and understandable... Yup, I used the word beautiful... It was bound to come out, I guess. I hope you're doing all right.