Lovers' Eyes (Please review!)

[Myownperson]

LOVERS’ EYES (An original composition)


Oh! But to see the world through lovers’ eyes
Bottle-green excitement colors the wind
Wet like the moisture it spreads and
Then entrances like a swing

Oh! But to see despair through lovers’ eyes
Roasting in fire the twisting agony
Numb, empty, void is the desire
A myriad of knotted-ripped solstice

Oh! But to see the taste of ecstasy through lovers’ eyes
Ragged breath in breaking seconds
A smile so wide – it may tear up the world
Lion-courage grave-poise is the consequence

Oh! But to see loss through lovers’ eyes
That burning-ice like tear
It stays but never leaves the tongue
Must-like the shake plaguing the roots

Oh! But to see love through lovers’ eyes
Tangible, never-reaching like an angry mule
Sinking in the drown of admire
Solid like the universe is the proof

Oh! But to see anxiety through lovers’ eyes
Sated-drunk existence torments
The skin of death brinks to torments
Besotted by the glare of trauma

Oh! But to face the wrath of lovers’ eyes
The broken-fragmented glance is aural
Exhausted imagery created by no reference
Sways the brow of the faithful trust

Lovers volatile in their lust
Eyes volatile in their love
Slut-lust thrives and makes its way
In lovers’ eyes is a cozy cove..

[lady_charlie]

Your theme is a good one. Being close enough to another person to understand what they are feeling is about the only chance we have of escaping ourselves, our loneliness, our isolation.
I like your words, you chose well.
Besotted goes with sated-drunk and I get why that goes with anxiety and despair, but sated and besotted seem - I don't know, more like relief bearing words than desperate somehow.
I guess I don't have any better ideas to express what you mean, so I shouldn't say until I think of something to use instead.

[Myownperson]

Thank you for your lovely comments. It feels good to know that there are people who are reading your work and actually can relate to it and maybe, there is that one person who likes it or just gets it. So, I appreciate that you replied.

[lady_charlie]

I have read Gone With the Wind several times and really like Jane Austen.
have you seen les mis?

To love another person is to see the face of God....

[Myownperson]

Gone With the Wind is my favourite novel of all times and I, too, absolutely adore Jane Austen. I haven't seen Les Mis though I really want to.
I do not completely agree that to love somebody is to see the face of God. I am more of a cynic in those ways. I believe that love is more like an addiction of a person, otherwise how can people say that they fell in love at the first sight. Love is when you think of somebody all the time, put their needs above yours and do little things to make them happy because you derive your happiness from their happiness and if they are not there or are unhappy, your existence seems incomplete.

[lady_charlie]

Oh I gave up on all that hogwash a long time ago, that is a line from one of the songs from Les Mis...I dreamed a dream in days gone by, you know. Yep. Probably real love has more to do with putting his shoes in the closet for the 9,000th time and undoing the laces as you walk so he won't have to.

[Myownperson]

True. I completely agree with you. So what made you give up? Everybody has a story.

[lady_charlie]

Ah, gave up, but got something else.
More like letting yourself open the present that life gave you and remembering to say thanks instead of, uhm, this wasn't what I was expecting, dont' you have this in a different size and maybe chartreuse?
The truth is I decided to be miserable, and then I decided to be happy.
All with the same man who has never changed an iota.

[Myownperson]

Your man sounds like a keeper.
But how do you know when you have met the one man?
This is embarrassing to confess but I need to get it out. I get attached to many men. It seems like love but then it goes away. I don't know if any of them is the one or if it's just an illusion of love in my mind.
How will I know? What do I do?

[lady_charlie]

I don't think you know - you just decide to stay.

Then you wake up the next day and do it again.

I know a whole list of reasons to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, and you probably do too.

The fluffy happy feeling that some people call love is the thing I have given up on, so maybe you shouldn't be asking me.

We take care of each other as best we can. Some days that is pretty good, some days it isn't much.

I had a list of things I would not compromise on. I wanted someone who would work hard.

A sense of humor doesn't hurt.

If you have those things on your side, probably any number of men could be Mr. Right.

[Myownperson]

The one thing that hurt was the guy I told I loved and he said that I was perfect but never returned my feelings but wants to be friends. It is so hard to talk to him. And then there was this other guy who loved me but I couldn't return his feelings and felt so guilty because there was a time that I liked him, maybe even loved him but when he told me, the only thing I could think was how wrong it was.
And as for the matter of asking you, I can't ask the people I live with because they are very judgemental and nobody I would like to ask ever listens to me. I don't have people whom I can really talk to. That is the reason I rely on strangers. At least, I can trust you not to give bad advice because you don't know me.
That's sad, isn't it. I live with so many people and can't talk and here on the internet with a stranger I open my life story.

[lady_charlie]

OH no, I just meant I have grown a little old and cynical - I see people every day who seem to have what I could never find, and I wish that for you if that is what you want. So not that you shouldn't open up, but you may get an entirely different opinion from someone who cuddles and holds hands and calls his woman sweetykins and writes her poems and stuff.

Or talks to her at all.

Anyway, if you were my own child I would tell you to guard your heart, don't give it away too fast or too soon, and remember that to be a couple is to blend two lives, not to make either of them disappear.
Maintain your independence and your sense of self, the things you love, the things that make you you.

There is a gentle balance between giving and clingy, and IMHO most men run from clingy. Is that a word? Not to mention it robs you of your dignity and self-worth.

It sounds like game playing but it isn't - quite the opposite. Just be yourself first, be sure of who that is and what you want, first, and don't give that up for anyone.

Bending without breaking is the goal.

[Myownperson]

I just want a man who loves me and with whom I can talk to. I would be happy in the little things, I don't need fancy gestures. But what thing I cling onto is love. My parents marriage was arranged and the only time I see them remotely happy is when they are with me and my sister. Otherwise, there are shout-matches, belittling each other and where they come from and a lot of hurt on each side. They are worlds apart and even though it is said that opposites attract, I have learned the hard way that they just lead to hurt and sorrow.
You are a sweet person to wish for me. Nobody does and I have learnt to accept it. But you know, once in a while, you just need to lay it all out to somebody and speak your fears. That way, it comes all out. Well, that cathartic feeling is what I long for everyday. I long to share things with people however, I fear that they will run away or judge me. They usually do. I crave and hate loneliness.

[lady_charlie]

Are you going to have your marriage arranged?

[Myownperson]

Nope. No way in hell will I have an arranged marriage. I will not be like my parents. Even though they gave us everything that they could, their differences became a blasphemy in our lives and I wouldn't want my children to have to go through that. No never.