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Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 16 Oct 2013, 00:48
by AlexisReed
I am a writer of epitaphs and clichés love songs,
My fingers are covered with ink and my body with bruises.
Look past my first impression and I can be your sundress bride and you my pinstriped lover.

My voice may not be beautiful, but it’s all that I have,
And the butterflies don’t flock to my outstretched fingers
Look past my crooked smile,
And we can be a vision in tie-dye and high-top sneakers

I know I’m imperfect, and not even in the way that you like,
My shoes don’t click right and my eyes rarely close.
Look past my blood-rimmed fingernails,
And we can sit on the street corner and play the guitar.

I am an omen of awkward moments and broken pencils,
The grass I walk through never grows as quickly.
Look past my out-of-place laughter,
And we can be the reason the other open there windows.

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 16 Oct 2013, 11:19
by sugarbearmama
wow. That is fantastic! It flowed easily, it is dark, but romantic, while reading this I had a perfect image of the characters a girl plain but not ugly, with an open heart to the man, imperfect yes, but as long as she can see him for who he is it doesn't matter his imperfections, one of my favorite lines from Alice in wonderland is yes you are mad, but all the best people are, that's how I see your characters. Bravo!

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 16 Oct 2013, 12:27
by AlexisReed
Thank you so much :oops:

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 18 Oct 2013, 06:33
by Carla Hurst-Chandler
Very nice :)

I love the "I can be your sundress bride and you my pinstriped lover"...made me smile this morning.

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 18 Oct 2013, 11:55
by mig_anne
OMG I love this is the best poem I've read in ages, you're really talented! :D

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 16 Dec 2013, 03:27
by Nathrad Sheare
Very fluid, almost perfect for a poem about striking imperfection. :D I enjoyed it. I'm feeling it was spun on the dark side of the moon, hm? Well done.

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 09 Jan 2014, 14:26
by miriam123373
This is great. I almost feel like you could take each line of this poem and use it as the start to your next! The meaning of each word is incredible.

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 09 Jan 2014, 20:41
by elicia7887
I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery is beautifully perfect. Very well done. Look forward to enjoying more.

Re: Imperfection (poem)

Posted: 10 Jan 2014, 11:45
by p3rf3ctly_m3
I love that you stated outright that you are imperfect, but you still want the opportunity to love. You told a story through your writing and I loved that I saw the pictures of the things you wrote so vividly. It was an easy read. It pulled you in from the first line. Keep up the good work.