Poem

[DreamWeaver121]

Upon this sleepless winter night
My mind does roam the earth
Searching for another plight
For me to show my worth

Alas im sorely mistaken
For the plight is mine you see
Its me I have forsaken
Its me I have to free

Sleep evades me
Doubt plagues me
Life haunts me
Dreams taunt me
Fate regales me
Destiny awaits me

Who am I to fight its grasp?
Who am I to turn my back?

I am but a man.....

[kaylahar6]

Nice poem.

[Nathrad Sheare]

This poem reads like a spinning dance. I enjoyed it, DreamWeaver121, especially your lines: "It's me I have forsaken. It's me I have to free." I'll dare now to ask you what your inspiration for this piece was? Do you have more? I'm soon to be posting another poem on my own poetry thread... so you're not the only risk- taker, you should know. I'd like to see as many as you're willing to publish.

[DreamWeaver121]

Appreciate the comments, the inspiration for that one would be a night a couple weeks ago where I was feeling exceptionally down and just out of it. I call it the winter funk, everyone gets it now and again. Just wanna stay inside and do nothing and I gleaned inspiration from the fact that it was time for me to get my act together . Id like to read your work as well Ill be looking into it. Yes I do write more poetry heres another one for now. Most of my work is scattered throughout notebooks and Ive gotta compile it all but just havent gotten around to it. One day I shall


So many hearts are torn apart
So many dreams are shorn

So much pain befalls us all
So much promise forlorn

But in the midst of misery
A hope we have at last

A chance at eternal happiness
What spell will your fate cast?

A chance to become forevermore
One who will always be free

Take the leap of faith my friend
With love the path you shall see

[Nathrad Sheare]

Sappy. I likes. I can't get enough poetry. I find myself writing it for no reason at all. I like putting words and phrases together to make music. Music is my greatest artistic love, so I'll even find myself trying to give my prose a rhythm pretty often. Music HAS to be an influence on everything I write. How about you? What's your muse? Life? Music? Private perceptions? Caged emotions?

[lbuckman]

I don't tend to like poetry, but yours are so easy to read and to get a true feel for the emotions within them. Great job - and thanks!

[FNAWrite]

I don't get it at all - what are you trying to say?

What is your plight? Being alive? Welcome to the club, bub.

What do you mean by fate "regales" you? Regales you with what? Tales of destiny?

"I am but a man" - me too. So...

[DreamWeaver121]

thanks buck man, love the criticism FNA. The plight is not having the motivation to get up and go for it, fate regales me meaning its making fun of me as it watches me sit here and let life slip me by. I am but a man as a conclusion to the whole ordeal, an acceptance if you must. Im only as effective of a human being as I will myself to be. Not the clearest way of coming across but hey never said I was a master nor do I wish to be, would take the fun out of it. Sounded good to me when I wrote so i kept it

[AmyElizabeth]

Wow, I think that you write excellent poetry.

[FNAWrite]

"fate regales me meaning its making fun of me as it watches me sit here and let life slip me by"

Among the reasons I did not understand is of course this is not what "regale" means. It is important that poets writing short pieces give ordinary words their ordinary meaning that their audience may understand them and generate an image.

I am but a man - "Im only as effective of a human being as I will myself to be"

Is this really worthy of note? Do you think we might have thought you were something other? (I would add that in the context it does not appear to say this: you ask who am I to fight fate, to ignore destiny then say I am only some guy. This seems to say I cannot be effective as a human being. Where is this question of of human or individual will?)

I pointed this ("but a man") out because therer was another recent posting of a poem where the writer declared "I am unique." - Yeah, you, me and everybody else.

My experience leads me to believe most of the audience does not care about you, the writer, and unless you brilliantly render your discussion of yourself as everyman it is nothing that we have not already heard ad nauseum.

[50sweetrevenges]

Woah. I must admit, it was a very beautiful and inspiring poem. It's amazing really.

[FNAWrite]

"it was a very beautiful and inspiring poem"

As I noted, I didn't get it at all. Let me hear the other side - how is it inspiring to you? Any line in particualr you find beautiful and/or inspiring?

[50sweetrevenges]

"it was a very beautiful and inspiring poem"

As I noted, I didn't get it at all. Let me hear the other side - how is it inspiring to you? Any line in particualr you find beautiful and/or inspiring?

Yes of course I'll elaborate. Well, first off when i read a poem i like to look deep into it. I try to look at it from the poet's point of view and not just mine. And then i try to relate it to my own life if i can.

"Upon this sleepless winter night
My mind does roam the earth
Searching for another plight
For me to show my worth"

In the first part here the poet might have been deep in thought, which is just like me in sleepless nights. He was searching for a dangerous situation to put himself into to show his worth. Now what did the poet mean by showing his worth? My guess is that he felt low self-esteemed ( maybe just in a vulnerable moment) and he was trying to find a way to prove he is not. In my case, I am not the kind of person with low self-esteem. On the contrary i have complete confidence in myself. But that might not be the case as i said, the poet might just have been in a vulnerable moment. "To show my worth" might also mean to redeem myself, and that, i can relate to.

This poem inspired me for a friend ... no actually it reminded me of this person but it inspired a new idea and i always try to find good poems for me to read before i start writing - since i'm writing a book.

Was that enough? Or would you like me to elaborate more? i don't mind either way.

-- 28 Jan 2014, 13:56 --

"fate regales me meaning its making fun of me as it watches me sit here and let life slip me by"

Among the reasons I did not understand is of course this is not what "regale" means. It is important that poets writing short pieces give ordinary words their ordinary meaning that their audience may understand them and generate an image.

I am but a man - "Im only as effective of a human being as I will myself to be"

Is this really worthy of note? Do you think we might have thought you were something other? (I would add that in the context it does not appear to say this: you ask who am I to fight fate, to ignore destiny then say I am only some guy. This seems to say I cannot be effective as a human being. Where is this question of of human or individual will?)

I pointed this ("but a man") out because therer was another recent posting of a poem where the writer declared "I am unique." - Yeah, you, me and everybody else.

My experience leads me to believe most of the audience does not care about you, the writer, and unless you brilliantly render your discussion of yourself as everyman it is nothing that we have not already heard ad nauseum.

And i in turn have to tell you something. In a poem the poet has to express his feelings in a very compressed way. Sometimes he might even need to use elaborate and hard words. Other than that, "I am but a man - "I'm only as effective of a human being as I will myself to be", the poet can do what he wishes to do with the poem. You need to look deeper in the meaning to fully understand what he meant by that. I trust that you are not a big fan of poetry?

But i don't know why but i like your comments and judgements

[FNAWrite]

Thanks for your response, I do want further explication. In response to my question how was this inspiring you say "This poem inspired me for a friend ... no actually it reminded me of this person but it inspired a new idea"

I'm sure you can see why I want more: How was it inspiring? it inspired me. Doesn't really clear it up.

Your interpretation of "another plight" seems reasonable - among my problems with this is that this "another" is the first we are told of any plight at all. What was the other one that keeps him up at night?

My comment about "I am but a man" questioned whether this was at all worth noting, we all know the writer is nothing more than a man (yes or woman, "man" being the default term for men and women). I tried to point out that such declarations are fairly cliched in poems about self - they say nothing.

I further noted but may not have been clear is that in the context of this poem it appears that the writer is claiming to be powerless in life - bnot exactly inspiring or a beautiful thought to me.

"Sometimes he might even need to use elaborate and hard words". Certainly not the case here.

Take a look a Kyrielle in this same forum.

[Nathrad Sheare]

FNAwrite, I would appreciate some of your criticism on my page, "I Have a Few Poems of My Own." You are honest and have a fluent way of explaining yourself. You wouldn't mind?