Last One Left

[runnergirl13-1]

Last One Left

All I wanted was to make things better
But I just made things worse
And that’s what got me here
And now I have to escape
The only one left was me

In a world of fear and shame
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to hide
I was imprisoned in my own mind
No one could save me but myself
I had to let go to the past and move on
I had to seek the future

I couldn’t control what happened back then
But I can control what happens now
And forever

I have changed
I’m not that girl anymore
I don’t hold those grudges
I let go of the past

Starting a new life
In a new world
With new love
A new time
And a new death
A better death than before
Outside of my mind

What I wanted the world to be
Was not what it was
And never will ever be

I know this isn't very good, but I would like some advice on how to make it better?

[Nathrad Sheare]

This poem can really go somewhere special, runnergirl13-1, I think. You're looking for suggestions, and I have a few. I'm thinking you shouldn't be so enigmatical with this. Try giving some of the picture of the experience that led you to write the piece. Show us your difficulty. Each person's experiences are singular, because each as a singular human being lives them. Give us some of the details of what you did to make things worse, what you did in your prison to yourself. The power of imagery is unmatched. What is the "New Death" you wrote about? Let us see. Write about what you felt when you were in the place you wanted out of. Metaphors and similes are important in that respect. Give us something we can taste, hear, see, smell. Maybe it seems like a lot of work, but that's the fun of writing.

How long have you been writing poetry? I've been writing it since I was thirteen. I have a forum here where I've displayed some of my work called "I Have a Few Poems of My Own." It's nothing special, but I love what I do. I also have a forum called "Poetry Contest! Just for Fun," if you want to try your hand at writing on a theme. I hope you have a great time here at the club!

[runnergirl13-1]

Thanks a lot, it has really helped improve my writing, and I might have to try that poetry contest.

[Nathrad Sheare]

I'm glad I could be of some help! I look forward to seeing more of your work!