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The Dream, the mistake

Posted: 31 Aug 2014, 14:40
by RGuzman365
The dream, the mistake
I’m lying here with you in my arms,
I’m content and whole,
Then I hear the alarm,
I awake to the world where you’re gone,
And all I wish to do is return to the dream,
To forget how we were parted,
But I can’t I’m forced to wake,
And to live with the vision of your death,
Forced to live with the knowledge I was the cause,
How my mistake cost you your life,
If only we never went to that party,
If only I let you drive,
Now I’m left with only a dream,
A dream of what we could have been.

Re: The Dream, the mistake

Posted: 01 Sep 2014, 06:14
by Bluefirerose
How horribly sad. From an editorial point of view, it gets to the point rather abruptly; at first you think maybe the person just left, but then like a hammer it hits you that they are dead. Then again, perhaps it was the shock factor you were going for in which case this works wonderfully.