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1. What do you do when you aren't writing?
Since publishing my first book, I've immersed myself in various marketing activities that keep me constantly busy. Unfortunately, this often means spending more time in front of my computer than I would like. The learning curve for building a following was steep, especially since I was unfamiliar with the requirements. Despite the time-consuming nature of marketing, I recognize that this situation won't last forever. As time becomes available, I plan to prioritize writing—the activity I genuinely prefer.
Additionally, as someone who lives alone, I handle the upkeep of my condo and grocery shopping. I try to spend time with friends over lunch, care for my cat, and stay connected with my adult children. Although I used to maintain a writing schedule, marketing demands have led me to write less frequently.
2. What does literary success look like to you?
Literary success manifests when an author's book achieves bestseller status or comes close to it. While I subscribe to this conventional definition, another dimension of success matters equally: hearing from readers who have been touched or helped by my words and life story. My writing now carries a message beyond mere entertainment.
3. Let's discuss your book Developing Resilience. What made you decide to write about your life?
My decision to write about my life stems from a rich tapestry of experiences—an unusual and fascinating journey filled with opportunities and lessons. I felt compelled to share these insights with others who might find themselves in similar situations. Developing Resilience aims to guide readers through dilemmas, offering a path toward growth.
Interestingly, I hadn't initially planned to write a memoir. During an Authentic Writing Workshop at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, New York, I realized my personal essay could become part of something larger. I began writing this memoir a decade ago while still self-employed as a social psychotherapist. Now, fully retired since 2023, I'm committed to sharing my story with the world.
4. What was the hardest part of the writing/publishing process?
The writing and publishing process presented several hurdles, each with unique difficulties. Firstly, finding dedicated time to work on my books proved challenging. Balancing other commitments while maintaining focus on writing required discipline and determination. Secondly, the impostor syndrome—the nagging self-doubt that often plagues creators—was a constant companion. Despite these obstacles, my unwavering desire to see projects through to completion kept me returning to the process.
Another tricky moment was releasing my work to the publisher. It marked the completion of Book One in my trilogy, a significant milestone. Throughout this journey, I found joy in the actual writing, the compilation of my letters and journals, and the meticulous editing.
5. Was it difficult to relive the darker times from your past?
Addressing the darker moments from my past in my book wasn't as challenging as one might expect. Over the years, counseling and therapy have helped me process those experiences, making it easier to include them. However, as I added my marital journal to the book, I unexpectedly encountered unprocessed anger related to my first marriage. During that period, I hadn't fully acknowledged the anger; it had manifested more as anxiety. Now, I can revisit those events differently with the perspective of maturity. Speaking about these subjects also becomes a healing process, allowing me to release guilt and shame layer by layer.
6. One thing that you encourage is never giving up. How did you find the strength during the most difficult times to keep going?
My ability to persevere during challenging times traces back to a childhood philosophy I used: "It really doesn't matter." This mantra allowed me to repress memories of adversity until I was ready to confront them and begin the healing process. In Book One, I recount instances where I ran away from situations, seeking refuge in confiding with friends. Ultimately, facing my problems head-on and making deliberate decisions helped me believe in solutions—even if they weren't always perfect. Life often calls for readjustments, and that flexibility has been my strength.
7. What did writing your story teach you?
Writing my story has shown me that I have survived a devastating life journey that has taught me invaluable lessons. I've emerged tougher, with an abundance of grit and determination. These experiences have shaped me, and I've discovered resilience I didn't know I possessed.
8. What's next for you?
My journey continues with two more books in the trilogy awaiting completion and publication. As a 90-year-old late bloomer, I'm excited to bring these stories to life. Additionally, I've been working on a metaphysics book, which I had set aside to focus on the trilogy. My goal is to finish and publish it before my time comes.
On a practical note, I plan to sell my condo later this year and transition to a senior apartment complex. Simplifying life and having someone else handle maintenance sounds appealing.
I like to end with lighter questions.
9. What authors and books do you enjoy reading?
Despite a busy schedule, I make time for reading. My preferences span both fiction and nonfiction. I'm drawn to adventure and mystery stories, often staying awake to unravel their secrets. Currently, I'm immersed in Donna Zaller's books. In the past, I've enjoyed works by Dan Brown and Robin Cook, along with classic literature from my college days.
10. What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?
My weekends follow a structured routine, balancing relaxation, responsibilities, and downsizing efforts. Here's how I typically spend my Saturdays and Sundays:
Saturday nights: Movie Time
Saturday nights are reserved for movie marathons on Netflix or Prime. Staying in allows me to unwind without the hassle of going out. And yes, popcorn for dinner is a delightful tradition!
Weekend Bookkeeping and Downsizing
One weekend day is dedicated to bookkeeping—a necessary task to keep up with taxes, especially since I founded an LLC to process my books.
The other weekend day revolves around downsizing. I'm meticulously reviewing everything I own, preparing for an upcoming move. Sorting through files and boxes related to my private practice is both nostalgic and practical. Some boxes hold memories I barely recall, but I'm determined not to move with unnecessary items.
Flexibility and Church on Sunday
If an event arises, I will attend and set aside my labor-intensive challenges. And, of course, Sunday mornings are reserved for church.
11. What movie could you watch again and again?
Two movies hold a special place in my heart: Gone with the Wind and Doctor Zhivago. Although I haven't seen them recently, the desire to watch them again remains strong. Their epic storytelling and unforgettable characters continue to resonate.
12. What's your beverage of choice?
My go-to beverage is black coffee, but I limit myself to one or two cups daily. As part of a healthy diet, I've embraced a vegan lifestyle. Green tea is a regular choice, and staying hydrated with water throughout the day is essential. Occasionally, I treat myself to grape juice. Soda and alcohol don't make it onto my list.
