Official Review
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1. What do you do when you aren't writing?
When I am not writing, most of my time is focused on activities that are aligned with my heart and soul-driven mission, which is cross-disciplinary research, study, and using what I’ve mastered to teach, educate, train and consult men and women of all professions, nationalities, creeds and colours how to become purposeful and disciplined masters of themselves and dedicated leaders and teachers of others. I have a high-priority values-based action list that I follow daily and like to complete, which includes coaching clients and working on the business, appearing on various TV, Radio, and Podcast interviews. A habit I’ve developed over the years is taking time daily to meditate, recite my gratitude journal, reflect on the day on what I can improve on going forward, and spend an hour reading or listening to a new book from various authors and genres.
2. Who's been the most significant influence in your life?
There have been many teachers, clients, and people from all walks of life who have positively influenced my life. The one who sacrificed the most for me to be all I can be and forever lives in my heart is my late parents, my mum, Lutvije and my dad Shaqir. They taught me what it takes to be kind, truthful, humble, authentic, and have integrity, manners and impeccable working habits. That I can do anything I set my mind to. My mom is the first to frequently remind me of the importance education plays in improving the quality of life and how no boundary or disability can stop you from expressing love. Never let people’s opinions of me stop me from succeeding in life. My dad was an incredibly hard-working and family peace-keeping individual who taught me that though life can be challenging at times, it is also full of adventure, joy, love, places to be discovered, and miracles to be uncovered. They both taught me how to not only survive but also to thrive when the tough gets going. In observing their way of handling and succeeding through life’s most brutal battles, I learned what unconditional love is and to believe in the power of finding inner peace, growing my wisdom, and appreciating God and all its creation.
3. Let’s talk about your book, The Unfakeable Code®. What makes this different from other self-help books?
When the COVID19 Pandemic started to shut borders and businesses and put billions of people under ‘home arrest’, I knew people would experience so-called actual or imagined ‘stressful’ events, and it would create a cosmic trail of mental, emotional, physical, relationship, business, career, financial, and social-political issues.
One of the many things that the Corona Virus Pandemic highlighted is how something so microscopic can have a macroscopic impact. Let's take the same analogy and apply it to our psychology. A similar negative butterfly effect is created when thoughts and behaviours resulting from transient fake personas we adopt through life freely run our psychology.
According to some scientific research, we think 75,000 thoughts a day. Of those, 85% are negative. With time, those negative thoughts in our unconscious mind, like the Corona Virus, can shut our immune system down, create low self-confidence, and weaken our will, intuition, and optimism. They impact our careers, productivity, and business and make us physically and emotionally ill, frustrated, stressed, and powerless. We become resentful toward others and ourselves, and in the worst-case scenarios, it can impact our mental health and trigger OCD and suicidal thoughts.
No one likes to be around fake people; we have an internal ‘authenticity detector’ that, when listened to, can keep us and others in check. The problem arises when outside voices become louder than the voice of our internal ALARM, the one that is trying to bring us back to be and show to the world our authentic selves. This book is very different from what is on the market and is raising awareness of the extraordinary power of authentic living, leading and loving. These three elements are critical in activating or deactivating our immune system, awakening the body’s natural healing powers, and building a co-loving relationship with self and others. It also makes people want to be with you, follow you, and work with you.
What makes it unique is the amalgamation of more than 30 years of working experience in business, cross-disciplinary research and studies in numerous disciplines, including mathematics, engineering, physics, technology, human behaviour, philosophy, theology, metaphysics, psychology, astronomy, neurology and physiology.
The Unfakeable Code® is a revolutionary discovery and cutting-edge five-step personal, professional or business transformation system which results in a new perspective and paradigm in feeling, living, and thinking. It assists in making quantum leaps in consciousness in quantum time and is an effective means of transforming any form of stress or conflict into grateful states of love and vitality. It offers a way to develop objective thinking, unleash the power of authentic leadership, discover your original values and teach you how to align them so you can own your power, lead authentically and live freely on your terms.
Based on my business and human development work and delivering over 35,000 hours of coaching and training, I created a set of exercises to help people identify skewed perceptions that may be running their lives, realise their highest values and set their goals and corresponding actions accordingly. The reason is that I realised the extraordinary power of knowing your authentic values and objective thinking. The people I’ve worked with have used the ‘Unfakeable’ approach to build businesses, find their life partners, recover from chronic pain and illness, repair relationships with spouses, parents, and children, and reconnect to their most profound material and spiritual callings. These principles and exercises I share in the book embody the methods I have used to create and sustain my own extraordinary life. The wonderful thing about this book is that anyone can benefit from learning how to use this most crucial life-changing tool.
4. Why did you decide to take all your knowledge and write a book?
You come into the world imprinted energetically with “Codes” to have various drives and motivations. They nudge you down a path unique to you. When you live congruently with those drives and motivations, your life flows.
When you are out of sync, your life is more of a struggle. Intuitively, people know when their life lacks authenticity, and they are not on their ideal path. You can develop mental and emotional health problems, your self-worth drops, and you stop being appreciated, loved and known for all that deep down you know you are. You end up being mentally, emotionally, physically and financially abused, you conform to other people's expectations of you, and what others see on the outside doesn’t reflect how you feel. You become ignorant of how you feel on the inside and what results and outcomes you want on the outside. You become more prone to bullying, judgments, fears, stress and illness, and you start to live a life that no longer feels true to you. You become unproductive at home, socially or at work.
Unfortunately, far too many people live a life they do not want and are afraid to show up in the world for being who they are and are not. I wrote The Unfakeable Code® book to help as many people as possible be all they can be and learn how to navigate change and uncertainty with authenticity leading the way.
I felt called to share a set of proven principles and a methodology I used with thousands of clients from all professional backgrounds to successfully dissolve the various transient persona's emotional charges concerning psychological or physiological experiences. To provoke mental transformation where manipulation turns to positive persuasion, where mood swings become sustained enthusiasm, and where your authentic characteristics will propel you to your total and highest potential. To help people to take back control of making informed choices and decisions and teach them how to use objective assessment of outside stimulants to liberate themselves from different life-long conditioning and co-dependency and live freely on their terms.
5. How can developing a better awareness of oneself change one's life?
It can be very frustrating when your quality of personal, relationship, family, career, business or financial life is suffering. There may be things that you want to do, but you perceive that there is something outside of your control stopping you from being able to.
If you feel that you’re low on energy, feel numb, experiencing addiction or compulsive behaviour, high levels of stress, feelings of anxiety, depression, you’re just getting through the day, keep attracting unhappy relationships, and like there must be something more, developing a better awareness of oneself can help you make the necessary mind and lifestyle adjustments to change that and improve your quality of life.
The reason self-awareness has always been an intriguing inquiry from as far back as the Ancient Greek aphorism ‘Know thyself’ is because self-aware people are happier, more fulfilled, tend to make informed choices, make smarter decisions, have better relationships and make more effective leaders.
When I wrote A Path to Wisdom, one of the crucial principles to living a balanced, healthy and peaceful life is awareness. Why? Because understanding to know one’s internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions, and one’s outer world’s influences is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence and reaching higher states of awareness, contentment and fulfilment. A quote that comes to my mind is by Lao Tzu “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” However, as easy as it sounds, the problem is that being genuinely self-aware, and knowing thyself fully, is not that simple. Five main barriers can stop us from being more self-aware:
Filtering reality through biased thinking developed over time by the environment in which we may find ourselves.
Giving in to rigid thinking and feeling uncomfortable with being conscious about our areas for development.
Giving in to fear and avoiding behaviours, thus reinforcing the inaccurate perceptions of ourselves.
Not knowing how to mindfully use the destructive and constructive power of our actual being.
Not taking consistent and inspired action that put our learning into practice.
In all of my books, I share potent principles people can use to master these barriers to develop the self-awareness, confidence, and strength needed to make positive changes and development beyond oneself. Self-awareness is necessary for a healthier and more loving relationship with self and others, creating the ability to be happier and feel more fulfilled at home and work. In addition, self-aware people tend to act consciously rather than reacting on autopilot; they make better, more informed choices.
As someone on the self-awareness journey, I can tell you it is well worth the effort. At first, it can be an uncomfortable process to develop self-awareness as we need to shed light on those faults we have been so good at hiding, not only to others but to ourselves. For me, self-awareness is more than just understanding our personality traits, values, attitudes, behaviours, habits and everything else that makes us tick. It creates an opportunity to make changes in one's behaviour and beliefs. While you invest in the continuous development of self-awareness, your thoughts and interpretations will begin to change. This change in mental state will also influence your emotional behaviours and increase your emotional intelligence, which is essential in achieving overall growth, success, and fulfilment.
Your plans for your future and your needs will change as you experience life. Being able to improve your self-awareness right now will help you lead a happier, more balanced, and more satisfying life. You’ll build a personal and professional life uniquely suitable for you. As an experienced life strategist and business coach specialising in human behaviour, I have seen first-hand the miracles created by assisting my clients in developing more significant levels of self-awareness. My latest books, The Unfakeable Code® and A Path to Excellence, are full of practical strategies that can help you build self-awareness and lead a better life.
6. What audience did you write the book for?
Anyone can benefit from this stress-reducing, conflict-resolving, leadership-activating, life-fulfilling and heart-opening method and use it as the most crucial life-changing tool. It is ideal for:
CEOs, leaders, politicians, business owners, entrepreneurs, and start-ups.
HR, communication, sales, marketing, and customer relations departments.
Scientists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, doctors, nurses, the NHS, and other health and well-being professionals and institutions.
Life, business, leadership, executive and corporate coaches, financial specialists, mentors, healers, complementary therapists, personal trainers, consultants, and even international United Nations delegates and peace Ambassadors seeking to emerge as authentic individuals and confident leaders in their field.
Parents, professors, teachers, children and students, educational institutions, and prison workers.
Film producers, directors, actors, musicians and artists want to make a more significant impact and collaborate and turn this book into inspiring films and documentaries.
Anyone curious to learn more about why living and loving authentically is the sincerest form of self-love can help you leave an immortal legacy.
7. What was the most challenging part of writing? What was the most rewarding?
The hardest part of writing was squeezing so much I’ve learned into a practical five-step method and behavioural change principles that can be easily used and are understood by everyone, no matter their background, professional status, or perceived aptitudes.
The most rewarding part of it was seeing the transformation that select clients got out of what I shared in the book and being endorsed by two of the world’s most respected teachers, the human behaviour specialists, Dr John Demartini, who quotes, “The worldview developed here transcends science, dogma and belief, giving readers a new code to reconnect with their true, authentic individual and the Divine within that knows how to take back control, lead authentically and live freely on your terms.”, and Brian Tracy, Internationally Bestselling Author, who gave the following testimony "This is an inspiring, enjoyable, fast-moving book that shows you how to unlock your full power for unlimited success."
8. What's next for you?
I am grateful to have awakened a clear mission and a vision that spans beyond oneself. As an author and as someone who overcame abuse, bullying, the atrocities of a civil war, homelessness, identity crisis, relationship breakups, financial problems, and the challenges of living in different countries, learning to write and speak in four languages, funding my education, climbing the corporate ladder I have accumulated much knowledge that I love teaching and educating others, so they have a greater chance of succeeding in life no matter the circumstances. Furthermore, starting from being thousands of pounds in debt and building a profitable business and growing in my entrepreneurial journey, and delivering over 20,000 hours of coaching, mentoring, training and healing hours, I used what I’ve learned to assist my clients in generating over a Billion pounds in sales collectively. This gives me a unique perspective and position to keep on my path to teach and help more people in creating personal, relationship, family, spiritual, career, business, leadership and wealth-building results and transformations in faster and more effective ways than usually would take someone over thirty years to achieve.
One of the things that always fascinated me since I was a child is people who were genius, people as Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, etc. Having successfully launched The Unfakeable Code®, I wrote and just published another book, A Path to Excellence – The Blueprint to Achieving Your Greatest Potential.
This unshakeable desire to positively change and impact the lives of one billion people inspired me to write another book, The Unfakeable Genius®, with a mission to help create as many genius people as possible. So these geniuses from all walks of life can come together to solve the world’s most relevant problems and create a more sustainable and blissful future. It keeps me focused, challenged and entertained between my main work, which is travelling the world, inspiring audiences with my talks, teaching my five or ten-day Vital Planning Life and Business Mastery advanced training, coaching clients, consulting businesses, and when time permits, also doing filming work. As one of the executive producers of The Truth About Reading documentary, which is about the impact illiteracy has on individuals, families, society and America in general, I look forward to attending the September Premier of the film in Hollywood.
Furthermore, I am creating various online self-evaluating tests that people and businesses can do: an app, digital courses, audiobooks, meditations and an online educational platform that people can use to change and improve their lives.
Following the success of my first film project, the multi-award-winning Living My Illusion – The Truth Hurts documentary. I created Into Your Divinity, a one-year life and business transformation experience captured in purposeful and inspiring film and documentary content that helps my clients become more credible, influential, and authoritative in their field of expertise. It also supports the vision to infiltrate my teachings and science-based methods in education, business, leadership, healthcare and government institutions to elevate, positively impact and transform the lives of one billion people – thus contributing to and supporting the accomplishment of the 17 UN development goals for the betterment of humanity.
I like to end with fun questions.
9. How do you relax?
Meditating and enjoying walking in the park, reading, swimming, cooking, gardening, singing, salsa dancing, and going to the theatre, cinema, and concerts are just some of the activities that relax and nurture my body-mind-heart-soul.
10. If you could stay at any age for your entire life, what age would you choose and why?
I would choose to be in the present moment. The reason is that after overcoming so many battles in life, I am finally enjoying the fruits of my persistence in following my heart’s callings in life, which is to be more than I could have ever imagined I could be.
11. What did you want to be when you were small?
Since I can remember, I have been known for making people feel listened to, loved, and supported when they experience health problems, relationship challenges, and other life predicaments. I wanted to be a heart doctor, so I could help people live longer, an engineer so I could innovate and create, a spaceship captain so I could travel through space and time and learn from other civilisations, and an architect, so I create lasting structures that stand the test of time and a superhero so I can save and protect those in need.
12. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Risotto with mixed seafood and asparagus served with a side of fresh mixed herb salad, grilled vegetables, burrata, freshly baked bread, and a bowl of fresh fruit salad with mango, blueberries, raspberries, clementines, strawberries, pineapple, lemon, honey and mint.
For more information about the author, please visit https://tonyselimi.com. To book him for an interview or have a private consultation; please e-mail his team at info@tonyselimi.com.
