How early does it start?

[Chali]

Grom as early as they realise what's happening. Children should be taught early that they can be trusted and that their feelings hold weight, so they learn early to be responsible.

[Howlan]

cookiedough wrote:
> If we learned good coping mechanisms at a young age on how to deal with our
> emotions, there would be less adults feeling trapped in their emotions. We
> can always benefit from being understanding of one another and being
> supportive in this world.

Yes, from a young age it should be taken care that any worry you have you should share it with someone. Parent should take a greater initiative and not only lend an ear to their child's problem but sometimes share their own problems too. It is effective in bonding as well as reducing your own stress.

[Howlan]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> I believe children learn better by observation. They see how their parents
> react to stress and anxiety. Although a child may not be able to
> distinguish between the two, they easily notice a point of distress when it
> comes to their parents. It leads me to my question, should the children be
> taught how to deal with stress and anxiety using such books as Gustavo's,
> or should they see from our examples as their parents, elders, and
> guardians?

Yes, that is true. So, you should take care of the fact that children are not neglected. They should be constantly engaged and help then build up trust. Because at the end of the day, children will never share anything with people who the trust. Mental stress from the children is easier and much healthier to deal with when the child is open to discussion.

[Howlan]

Jachike Samuelson wrote:
> Nerea wrote:
> > Good question. I think the practices can also help children because it's at
> > a tender age that one starts to learn things that will help them make
> > better decisions as they grow to become adults. Notice this proverb that
> > says; "Train a boy/child in the way he should go; Even when he grows
> > old he will not depart from it." So the practices can help the
> > children as well. Anxiety or stress does not respect age.
>
>
> I agree the principles for dealing with anxiety in this book is not age-dependent. In
> the part of the world where I come from, there is an astronomically high rate of
> anxiety in children (especially male children who are scorned for behaving like girls
> whenever they express their worries). I actually think starting early to identify
> these patterns and deal with them makes for more wholesome adult down the line.

Yes, I can concur with your statement. There are many people who are really ard on their kids and that should not something you build of fear, but you should rather instil them with love. Like you should not teach your kid that "crying" is something to be ashamed for but you should teach them to gain strength from the pain. Same for stress too if your child is under a lot of stress you should definitely first try to understand the cause rather than forming opinions.

[Howlan]

Sou Hi wrote:
> I'm afraid that to some adults, it's the children who are the source of
> their stress. And of course, since the adults have their hands full
> worrying about their problems, they would not pay attention to a child's if
> they can help it. Dismissal is the easiest and fastest way to ignore an
> extra issue. However, the grownups don't know that even children have their
> own anxiety, which could drive them to isolation and feeling abandoned.
> Some examples of this: a kid who recently had a new sibling, a bullied
> child, a kid whose family is too busy to take care of them properly, etc.
> Any of those cases can lead to depression and can haunt the children for
> years. So the sooner the kids are cared for the better, and if the methods
> work for the adults they probably do to a child.

Yes, raising a child can be quite stressful especially when you have your own life to handle. Bt in these cases generally you should not consider your child to be separate but part of your life. It is the little moments which are a source of happiness. Also, as the child goes older, communication is a surefire way to get to know the child better. it can relieve not only the stress of the child, but also yourself.

[Howlan]

djr6090 wrote:
> In my experience, children learn their coping skills by imitating their
> parents. Being sure that we cope in healthy adult ways by practicing the
> advice in this book can help the little ones, too.

Yes, though I do not think this book is much effective for kids. Someone should be there to explain it to them and also practice remedies with them to bring out its effectiveness.

[Manali_DC]

I do believe that children definitely suffer from stress and worry. But adults are often dismissive of this problem or fail to recognise it. The suggestions and remedies in this book can definitely also help children- atleast it might make an adult recognise the problem.

[Iva Stoyanova]

Alice Ngugi wrote:
> My mum never encouraged us to talk about our fears. She would reprimand us
> for looking sad and would tell us that we are children and do not or should
> not have anything to worry about. As I grew older I realized it affects the
> way I talk about how I feel. It took me a while to get to a place of
> 'vulnerability' to talk about my anxieties. It starts at the very age we
> start experiencing all the different emotions.

Exactly! People often think that children don't have problems and don't feel stressed/anxious. We are taught to hide our worries since we're young, as children are not expected to feel the way adults feel. Many people ignore their child's sadness or anxiety thinking kids are not exposed to any form of stress.

[Sharon Myles]

That's a really interesting discussion, personally I think people start to experience stress and anxiety even when they are little children. Therefore it would be prudent, to start early in educating kids on how to deal with anxiety early enough.

[Sjtoy]

I feel that some of these techniques can be used by children. I have talked about stress and anxiety with a few of my middle school students. It is important for them to be aware of their emotions and know there are strategies that can help them. Some basic strategies we have talked about include exercise, meditation, and breathing techniques.

[elisathelvarik]

As a child, I was always told not to worry or that I'm just overreacting. I think that is why I push off my anxiety and stress, which is detrimental to your mental health. Worries, doubts, stress, and anxiety can come at any age. As a parent, it is important to tell your child that worries will come and go as a part of life. The point is to not dwell on each stressful event and move on. There is importance in each anxious or stressful experience, so it should be dismissed immediately. It should be acknowledged and taken care of accordingly.

[anaplasticCerebrum]

I think it's impossible to quantify when too much repression creates a change in ourselves. It's a sad fact. The best we can hope for is good parents to let us freely act out and process our emotions and ideas, but even this isn't enough. I think it's part of the human experience to have sorrow and feelings unique to you that can't be overcome. Perhaps that idea is damaging though, and denies room for change. Reading this book helped me face that idea and question whether things I consider immutable about myself are really so hard to change.

[Kelyn]

Sou Hi wrote:
> I'm afraid that to some adults, it's the children who are the source of
> their stress. And of course, since the adults have their hands full
> worrying about their problems, they would not pay attention to a child's if
> they can help it. Dismissal is the easiest and fastest way to ignore an
> extra issue. However, the grownups don't know that even children have their
> own anxiety, which could drive them to isolation and feeling abandoned.
> Some examples of this: a kid who recently had a new sibling, a bullied
> child, a kid whose family is too busy to take care of them properly, etc.
> Any of those cases can lead to depression and can haunt the children for
> years. So the sooner the kids are cared for the better, and if the methods
> work for the adults they probably do to a child.

Having children can be a source of stress for almost any parent, and it would be all too easy to just ignore the child's pleas for help with their anxiety and fear in order to pay more attention to other stresses in their adult lives. As you said, sometimes it happens because the parents/guardians don't consciously realize that children can have their own anxieties. After all, childhood is all about play, right? Wrong. Any of the above cases you named are anxiety-ridden issues. And, yes, if not dealt with early and with reassurances, they can haunt the child for life. I believe as you do. The methods in the book, with some tweaks, can be applied to children. I appreciate you stopping by to share your thoughts with us.

[Kelyn]

Fem187 wrote:
> Anxiety and stress I believe start from childhood. But the child quickly
> forget his troubles and goes out to play at the slightest opportunity. So
> the effects of stress is minimal. An adult however continue to ruminate
> over things he should forget and goes to play as the child. The impact of
> prolonged stress weigh heavily on his shoulders as he grow older. Hence,
> the complications that follow stress manifest more as you grow older.

gatuguta2030 wrote:
> Anxiety and stress are experienced by both adults and children.
> However, in children, the impact is not that serious like in adults.
> As children progress in life in terms of age, they should be taught how to
> handle stress and anxiety.

Chali wrote:
> Grom as early as they realise what's happening. Children should be taught
> early that they can be trusted and that their feelings hold weight, so they
> learn early to be responsible.

There are points here with which I agree and also some with which I beg to differ. Yes, I believe that anxiety and stress begin to be felt in childhood. However, I'm afraid I stringently have to disagree that in all cases these anxieties and stresses can simply be 'blown away in the wind' by the child going out and playing with his friends. There is a temporary relief in this, a 'safety valve' if you will, but the fears and stresses remain and continue to affect the child's life and relationships. Thus, as you said Fern, they grow increasingly complex as the child grows older. The impact of this can indeed be severe, both in childhood and later, when the child is an adult. The sooner and more quickly these difficulties can be addressed in childhood, with reassurances and active involvement of the parent, the better. As you suggest Chali, several of the methods in Kinrys' book can be adjusted to be effective at a younger age level and help these children deal with their stresses and anxieties early in life. When this happens, they learn that there are people in the world who can be trusted and who will listen to and believe them.

Thanks so much to all of you for stopping by to share your thoughts with us. It is truly appreciated.

[Kelyn]

Howlan wrote:
> djr6090 wrote:
> > In my experience, children learn their coping skills by imitating their
> > parents. Being sure that we cope in healthy adult ways by practicing the
> > advice in this book can help the little ones, too.
>
> Yes, though I do not think this book is much effective for kids. Someone should be
> there to explain it to them and also practice remedies with them to bring out its
> effectiveness.

It is my belief that some of the methods in the book used for reducing stress can be effective with children if they are tweaked to be used by those of a younger age. However, you are correct, I think, when you say that there needs to be someone to explain and practice the techniques with children in order for them to be effective. Thanks so much for stopping in and sharing your thoughts with us!