A socially anxious newbie puts exposure therapy to the test

[FS60]

Howlan wrote:
> As far as the book goes stress management is really great advice in this
> book. Knowing what causes stress and countering the problem is great way to
> handle anxiety and helps you move forward. In today's situation to stress
> management is critical and essential to get rid of the negative thoughts
> and putting in your best every day.


This is a great point. This therapy probes the underlying cause of stress and then treat anxiety from its roots through a gradual process. When you get to know what really causes stress and anxiety, then alleviating symptoms becomes easier by changing direction of negative thoughts to some good purpose.

[FS60]

djr6090 wrote:
> My advice is to live in the day. Projecting failure is a sure road to
> stress. And your decision to 'put ourself out there' is a step in the
> right direction. Congrats.

Yes, if you want to move forward in the life then you have to learn how to live in the present, right at the moment. Take the most out of the present time and stop blaming yourself or repenting past failures.

[FS60]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also
> recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and
> pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every
> morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and
> what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before
> you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day
> went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your
> confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.

I think yoga works best for stress management and relaxation.

[FS60]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> Anna Dougherty wrote:
> > You are so brave for making this topic! I know how simple it can seem to
> > other people, but putting yourself out there online and not knowing how or
> > if people are going to respond is very scary and challenging for some.
>
> This is very true. Especially in the contemporary world where social media has
> reduced us to comments, followers, and trends.


Yes, this is the first step facing your insecurities, weaknesses, and complexes. Once you step in this process, the healing process begins on itself. Because the address issued is no longer an issue.

[Laura Britos]

Dominik_G wrote:
> First of all, congratulations on facing your fear of social interaction,
> and posting anyway!
>
> In my opinion, the book does offer lots of methods and techniques which are
> at least worth a try. I generally find meditation and exercising to be the
> most useful tools when fighting anxiety but I have to admit, I don't
> practice either of them as often as I feel like I should. Reading this book
> gave me a push in this regard.
>
> As for the advice, I think you're already doing the best you can do: you're
> present and actively making yourself participate in social interactions. I
> do believe the more you do it, the easier it'll get. Starting it here,
> discussing exactly the topic of anxiety seems like an ideal, safe first
> step.

I totally agree with you. Exercise has always been something that makes me forget about certain topics that stress me and also helps me to stay healthy bot physically and mentally. However I must admit that with the entire pandemic I feel so unmotivated to workout even something as simple as cycling or doing yoga.

[Sjtoy]

I also get nervous when posting. I read and re-read so many times before I actually hit submit. For me, the more I post, the easier it gets. In terms of managing my own stress and anxiety, I try to exercise or do yoga a few times a week. During a specific stressful moment, I will use breathing or grounding techniques.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

Ana Victoria2002 wrote:
> Dominik_G wrote:
> > First of all, congratulations on facing your fear of social interaction,
> > and posting anyway!
> >
> > In my opinion, the book does offer lots of methods and techniques which are
> > at least worth a try. I generally find meditation and exercising to be the
> > most useful tools when fighting anxiety but I have to admit, I don't
> > practice either of them as often as I feel like I should. Reading this book
> > gave me a push in this regard.
> >
> > As for the advice, I think you're already doing the best you can do: you're
> > present and actively making yourself participate in social interactions. I
> > do believe the more you do it, the easier it'll get. Starting it here,
> > discussing exactly the topic of anxiety seems like an ideal, safe first
> > step.
>
> I totally agree with you. Exercise has always been something that makes me forget
> about certain topics that stress me and also helps me to stay healthy bot physically
> and mentally. However I must admit that with the entire pandemic I feel so
> unmotivated to workout even something as simple as cycling or doing yoga.
Sorry about your current stressful situation that has been brought by the pandemic. If you attach working out to a higher goal than yourself, you'll always find the motivation to do it. You can set the goal of "getting healthier" instead of "exercising to stay fit or feel good."

Sorry about your current stressful situation that has been brought by the pandemic. If you attach working out to a higher goal than yourself, you'll always find the motivation to do it. You can set the goal of "getting healthier" instead of "exercising to stay fit or feel good."

[Howlan]

FS60 wrote:
> Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> > I'm a fitness enthusiast, so exercising works best for me, it's also
> > recommended in this book. I will keep stacking up my cycling miles and
> > pushups done in a day. I'd advise you to spend at least 20 minutes every
> > morning to remind yourself of how unique you are, how blessed you are, and
> > what you can do to be better on that day. Later in the evening, just before
> > you sleep, sit on your bed, take 10 minutes, and reflect on how the day
> > went. After a few days, you'll notice a great improvement in your
> > confidence and self-esteem. I wish you all the best.
>
> I think yoga works best for stress management and relaxation.

Yes totally dependant upon the person you are talking. Some may find it relieving, others may feel that it is not helping them relieving their stress as they cannot concentrate. Whatever makes you comfortable is the key.

[Howlan]

Ana Victoria2002 wrote:
> Dominik_G wrote:
> > First of all, congratulations on facing your fear of social interaction,
> > and posting anyway!
> >
> > In my opinion, the book does offer lots of methods and techniques which are
> > at least worth a try. I generally find meditation and exercising to be the
> > most useful tools when fighting anxiety but I have to admit, I don't
> > practice either of them as often as I feel like I should. Reading this book
> > gave me a push in this regard.
> >
> > As for the advice, I think you're already doing the best you can do: you're
> > present and actively making yourself participate in social interactions. I
> > do believe the more you do it, the easier it'll get. Starting it here,
> > discussing exactly the topic of anxiety seems like an ideal, safe first
> > step.
>
> I totally agree with you. Exercise has always been something that makes me forget
> about certain topics that stress me and also helps me to stay healthy bot physically
> and mentally. However I must admit that with the entire pandemic I feel so
> unmotivated to workout even something as simple as cycling or doing yoga.

Yes, me too. Exercise is something that gets me fired up. Running especially, getting the breeze on my face is something I really look forward to and calms me down.

[Howlan]

FS60 wrote:
> Howlan wrote:
> > As far as the book goes stress management is really great advice in this
> > book. Knowing what causes stress and countering the problem is great way to
> > handle anxiety and helps you move forward. In today's situation to stress
> > management is critical and essential to get rid of the negative thoughts
> > and putting in your best every day.
>
>
> This is a great point. This therapy probes the underlying cause of stress and then
> treat anxiety from its roots through a gradual process. When you get to know what
> really causes stress and anxiety, then alleviating symptoms becomes easier by
> changing direction of negative thoughts to some good purpose.

Yes, stress management is really an important topic that the author has described in this book. Mapping out your thoughts and behavior and understand the causes of stress is simple yet bery effective.

[Howlan]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> Ana Victoria2002 wrote:
> > Dominik_G wrote:
> > > First of all, congratulations on facing your fear of social interaction,
> > > and posting anyway!
> > >
> > > In my opinion, the book does offer lots of methods and techniques which are
> > > at least worth a try. I generally find meditation and exercising to be the
> > > most useful tools when fighting anxiety but I have to admit, I don't
> > > practice either of them as often as I feel like I should. Reading this book
> > > gave me a push in this regard.
> > >
> > > As for the advice, I think you're already doing the best you can do: you're
> > > present and actively making yourself participate in social interactions. I
> > > do believe the more you do it, the easier it'll get. Starting it here,
> > > discussing exactly the topic of anxiety seems like an ideal, safe first
> > > step.
> >
> > I totally agree with you. Exercise has always been something that makes me
> forget
> > about certain topics that stress me and also helps me to stay healthy bot
> physically
> > and mentally. However I must admit that with the entire pandemic I feel so
> > unmotivated to workout even something as simple as cycling or doing yoga.
> Sorry about your current stressful situation that has been brought by the pandemic.
> If you attach working out to a higher goal than yourself, you'll always find the
> motivation to do it. You can set the goal of "getting healthier" instead of
> "exercising to stay fit or feel good."
>
> Sorry about your current stressful situation that has been brought by the pandemic.
> If you attach working out to a higher goal than yourself, you'll always find the
> motivation to do it. You can set the goal of "getting healthier" instead of
> "exercising to stay fit or feel good."

Yes, setting a higher goal can be useful. Another thing you can do just do something you enjoy doing and then attach it to something you want to do. This can bring back the motivation. However, you should really focus n what you like to do to relieve your stress rather than force yourself.

[Howlan]

Joseph_ngaruiya wrote:
> Zee_Zee wrote:
> > AntonelaMaria wrote:
> > > Amazing job on putting yourself out there and facing your fears. Bravo! I
> > > hope that others will be inspired with you.
> > > I wouldn't say that this book brought anything new to my life but mainly
> > > because I did read a lot on these subjects. But it sums up a lot of things
> > > pretty nicely so I think it can be very useful. I like breathing exercises.
> > > They have been very helpful when I feel overwhelmed.
> >
> > Breathing exercise works for me too. Sometimes, I try to count backwards.
> Putting
> > yourself out there and facing your fears helps. It worked for me. At some point,
> > you'd realize that the fear is gone. You've done amazingly well!
>
> I agree with you. I've also noticed that when you break from your cocoon of self-talk
> and seek assistance from friends and relatives, the burden becomes lighter.

It not only becomes lighter but you gain confidence from speaking aloud. Rather than just ignoring the world around you talking to someone you enjoy can really help you gain confidence.

[Thea Frederick]

Yeah, I think a great way to free yourself of your stress is to face it and expose yourself to it.
A psychologist I know says the most effective form of therapy is exposure therapy, and it is certainly not the most fun!
Facing your fears and actually diving into them to make yourself anxious (and thereby overcoming your anxiety by repeatedly exposing yourself to the things which cause you anxiety) it terrifying! And it makes you incredibly anxious, of course.
But it works, if you are consistent and committed. :-)

[shamayelnur]

I totally get your feeling about the book and I really appreciate your move to fight your fear. Ive been trying to read self help books recently. And Natural relief from Anxiety and stress did help me. Being an introvert, I fear being exposed to public and get anxious. This book helped me realise a lot of stuffs and got me thinking. I really believe the suggestion it conveys, that confronting our fear can be freeing. And I'm hopefully trying to apply it in my life situations.

[Joseph_ngaruiya]

Thea Frederick wrote:
> Yeah, I think a great way to free yourself of your stress is to face it and
> expose yourself to it.
> A psychologist I know says the most effective form of therapy is exposure
> therapy, and it is certainly not the most fun!
> Facing your fears and actually diving into them to make yourself anxious
> (and thereby overcoming your anxiety by repeatedly exposing yourself to the
> things which cause you anxiety) it terrifying! And it makes you incredibly
> anxious, of course.
> But it works, if you are consistent and committed. :-)

Wow, I also had a positive experience with exposure therapy. Gradual daily steps to making a lasting change are also required.