Everything else could wait...or could it?

Hogwarts03 · Post by **Hogwarts03** » 03 Jun 2021, 03:14

Everyone's take is different. I don't think her cancer was caused by her work and even if she ended up taking more time off, it would have developed nonetheless.
Medicine was her calling. It was what made her happy and happiness and health should always come first.
Yes, I agree that if she had taken a little time out for herself and hadn't been so detrimental towards her health, she would've been in a better place.
At the end, it's what makes you get up in the morning and what makes you happy.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 06:05

Lunastella wrote: ↑01 Jun 2021, 19:00
Sushan wrote: ↑31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?
I guess that answer depends on each person. For me, it's caring for my loved ones but I have to admit that it's very easy to get sucked up into the workaholic craze that our culture imposes. I don't know why we glorify being busy all the time and overlooking our wellbeing.

Doing the task you are allocated in a dutiful manner and being unnecessarily busy are two different things. Some get busy because either they are less efficient or they are doing what they do in a wrong way, or even some get busy to find an excuse to be away from his family. At the end of the day it is all up to you.

Nouria el saftawy · Post by **Nouria el saftawy** » 03 Jun 2021, 06:42

Some people are extremely loyal to their jobs like her, they are very hardworking and put their job at first above everyone else, while this might be useful to her patients and work and she’s definitely trying to help people and she means good, but I don’t think this is right as her life is so unbalanced, from my personal opinion I think it’s only right if she gives everything in her life it’s right including herself.

Eriny Youssef · Post by **Eriny Youssef** » 03 Jun 2021, 11:02

Sushan wrote: ↑31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?

I think that will always remain a choice to be made daily in our lives—or at least thise who care for others. By i believe both are equally important. We just have to find the balance and keep making informed decisions.

Taiwexzy100 · Post by **Taiwexzy100** » 03 Jun 2021, 14:13

I think the best way is to balance the love of your work with the love of your loved ones, but to be frank, family should always comes first and not have to compete with your profession.

Post by **Kirsi Cultrera** » 03 Jun 2021, 14:32

Sushan wrote: ↑31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?

Well, there's no way of knowing if she would have gotten cancer anyway. What is sure is that it would have been easier to treat had she gone to see the doctor sooner. Anyway, second-guessing won't change the outcome. What comes to your second question, I think it is clear you have to care for yourself and your loved ones first. Because, if you don't, one day there might not be much left of you to do your job wholeheartedly. To me, it appears that the author was under some false sense of omnipotence. As for myself, I know how easy it is to push your own issues aside and concentrate on others instead. Unfortunately, that is not a very healthy approach. I am battling with this issue weekly. The story of this author serves as another good reminder.

Jasy95 · Post by **Jasy95** » 03 Jun 2021, 19:44

I think it's really important to balance your family life and your work life. If you love what you do, and your family doesn't feel neglected, there's no problem with prioritizing your work. Especially if it's work that's as important as medicine
Additionally, I feel cancer is one of those things that can strike anyone. I highly doubt that if she worked less, she would've avoided any possibility of cancer.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 21:18

Yusuf11 wrote: ↑01 Jun 2021, 19:07 it's clear that the author spends more time with her patients than friends and family and literally cares about their well-being. However, I think the author didn't even give herself much time as she should have. The book sounds so interesting though.

Yes, it is a rare story of a doctor who actually cared for her patients, and that caring was more than what she cared foe herself and her family. But it is quite sad to see how that service was rewarded by her own fate by putting her in the receiving end of her own services. This shows how important to balance your work life with personal life to at least live without regrets.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 21:22

Hiruni Hansika wrote: ↑01 Jun 2021, 20:25 There are some illnesses that we can prevent and some we cannot. I guess cancer is sometimes preventable but if it is a familial cancer or a genetic mutation that occurs in you, nothing will be able to prevent it. There for onky thing one can do is do things that can make them happy. In her case, if it is caring for her patients I don't think she has anything to regret.

Cancers are sometime not preventable despite of whatever the measures you take. But early diagnosis gives better outcome in most of the cancers. The one this author had also was visible to the eye, but unfortunately she did not care about it because she wanted to care for her patients. Maybe the cancer would not have spread if she took the treatment early. Anyway, now what is better to do is to continue her passion, her job, and have a happy life.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 21:39

Gemjay wrote: ↑01 Jun 2021, 22:33 I don't think that caring more about her family and for herself would have reduced the chances of getting cancer. But if the cancer was due to environmental factors then maybe yes if not then no. The point is agree that we should balance work and family. But when bad things happen don't start blaming work. Just make better choices.

It is no use of blaming anything after something bad happened. And also a cancer cannot be prevented by caring for yourself and your family. Though all these things are true, one should be able to care adequately for one's own self in order to give a better care for others, whether it is your family or patients. Though she cared for herself a bit more, still she could have get the cancer, but it could have ben diagnosed early and the outcomes could have been far more better.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 23:40

Kaushiki Parihar wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 00:21 It is said that "the world is one family." The job she does is taking care of her family. Therefore in my view, she dutifully completed all her responsibilities towards everyone including herself.
And secondly, there are some things in life you are just destined to be. Like, what if she cared more for herself but still got cancer. She would be more disheartened. She did what made her happy, so she would be happy in her final moments.

You have a point. The decision to delay the treatment and treat the patients was her decision and the consequences she happily accepted. At the end of the day she had something to be happy. Her life may be short and with the new illness it can be shorter, but what is more important is she being able to accept that with no regrets because of the life that she had.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 23:44

REIGNING20 wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 01:02
Sushan wrote: ↑31 May 2021, 23:49
I am someone who had always put my patients and my job first. Medicine was—and continues to be—my calling. My family has always been important, and my husband also accepted and understood how much I care for my patients. Everything else could wait...or could it?
This quote is found in Location 87 of Kindle version of this book. It is about how her illness did not wait, though she could keep waiting everything else till she dutifully completed her job.

Do you think if she cared a little bit more about herself, she could have had a better chance of not getting the cancer? What is more important; doing your job wholeheartedly or caring for you and your loved ones?
I believe in selfless service to humanity. One cannot discriminately victimize her conditions against her because cancer affects one due to various factors, which are lifestyle based. Moreover, if caring for her patients gave her peace of mind, then it's really a noble task that she undertook.

She did a noble task and if she died due to her illness, she would have a happy death because she did her part to the society. But will her close family feel the same? won't you blame if someone very close to you diagnosed with something like this and if came to know that it could have been treated better if was diagnosed earlier? What might her husband is thinking now? He might be regretting that he should have taken her to a doctor earlier. It is not easy to please everyone, but it is better to please your close ones first, in my opinion.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 23:46

Mys_Trea wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 01:22 I think that if the author can look back and not feel an ounce of regret, then yes. Everything else could wait. We all have different priorities. Different things fulfill us. So if whatever she chose to do at that moment ultimately contributed towards her happiness, then she chose well.

You have a point. If you choose something, you should choose it wholeheartedly and remain on that on whatever the circumstances, like this author did. And you should be ready to accept whatever the consequences, like she did. If you can smile at whatever you get, then yes, you have made the correct decision.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 23:49

Ghuddie eso wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 05:43 Doing your job wholeheartedly is important and taking care of your health and the health of your loved ones is equally important. You just have to find a balance.

Well said. If you miss your duties you will get the blame and your consumers will be facing problems. On the other hand if you totally involve in your job and neglect your family (you may not actually do that, but they may feel like that), your family members will be unhappy. In extremes any good thing can be bad. You have to find a balance in anything.

Post by **Sushan Ekanayake** » 03 Jun 2021, 23:52

Pearl Hijabi wrote: ↑02 Jun 2021, 06:22 Happiness is subjective to each person but, so is priorities. In this the author's happiness is in her carrier. Caring for patients has given her the satisfaction so it's more than just a carrier for her, it's her calling.
But no matter how passionate the balance between work-life is vital. U can forget everything when you are passionate about work. But like what happened to author somethings couldn't wait. Even if Cancer could be stopped maybe she could have seen the symptoms before.

That is my point too. Even though she cared for herself, still she could have got the cancer. But as she explains, she saw the swelling on her arm yet she ignored that. If she cared at least at that point, her diagnosis could have made earlier and the disease could not have been spread by that time. Her job could have been her calling, but what she finally ended up cannot be compensated by that.