Rules of life

Fran · Post by **Fran** » 31 Aug 2013, 18:00

@suzy ... you will like this one

Never iron your underpants while you're wearing them

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 31 Aug 2013, 19:28

Oh yeah it did. It sure made my eyes water.

Loveabull · Post by **Loveabull** » 31 Aug 2013, 19:43

When starting a new job...find out who the boss is and what he expects you to do, then find out who's REALLY the boss and what they actually expect you to do, then act accordingly

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 01 Sep 2013, 06:34

Beware of and never trust a " fanatic " about anything !...... ( be it religion, politics, their love for the common man, etc. )...ya can spot em easily, they are always wearing that " aren't i great ? " sign on their sleeve...the ULTIMATE-DO GOODER...

I wouldn't trust them as far as i can throw them...

...they'll kick the cat when no one is looking....

Authentic ppl never talk about their " goodness ", they just LIVE IT !....

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 01 Sep 2013, 08:37

For sure. Never trust anyone who blows their own horn.

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 01 Sep 2013, 09:12

right you are!...i prefer YOUR " succinct " way of putting it...

vortexkd · Post by **vortexkd** » 03 Sep 2013, 14:15

Never try to kill a flying insect hovering near a lightbulb. Resounding crashes and continued buzzing are to be expected.

Fran · Post by **Fran** » 03 Sep 2013, 15:36

"Charity, as those who have endured it know, is not easily distinguished from control" - read that somewhere.

and another very wise comment I heard from a clever professor:
"There is always a reason to get up in the morning, and a reason to stay up late at night ...."

and finally one from Irish playwright J B Keane when asked if he would repent on his deathbed he said:
"No God worth his salt is going to be fooled by the last minute repentance of a blaggard"

Starmy · Post by **Starmy** » 03 Sep 2013, 16:49

Never trust a fart! ( Ok its stolen but its genius! )

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 03 Sep 2013, 20:31

Very profound, Starmy. Especially the silent ones.

Never tell your wife her dress size is bigger than when you were first married. Unless of course, you are out of throwing distance of pots and pans.

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 04 Sep 2013, 05:10

Never throw out " useless " items from your junk drawer...

Odds are that you'll need that object immediately after...

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 04 Sep 2013, 08:56

Been there done that. I have a policy of getting rid of stuff if I havent used it in the last 5 years. Dosent work, tho. Ive had things 10 years and never used them, thrown them out and find the next day I need it.

Never open a can with a knife. Stitch city.

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 04 Sep 2013, 08:59

laughing here, Soooooooooooooooo true...

the other day i almost lost a finger doing that " can / knife " thingy...i'll never learn...

Bighuey · Post by **Bighuey** » 04 Sep 2013, 09:34

Opening cans can be deadly. Even with an old style can opener. A while back I sprained my thumb with one. I rushed out and bought an electric can opener after. Some cans have the pull tabs on them, but even some of those you need a four foot pry bar to open them.

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 06 Sep 2013, 05:45

nobody on their deathbed ever said: " " I should have spent more time at the office "

So, yes!...take the time to stop and " smell the roses "............no truer words were ever said !