Do you break rules in your writing?

[moderntimes]

Let's likely limit this to fiction, because if you're writing an article or essay or other nonfiction, your editor / publisher probably requires adherence to strict English composition standards. But in fiction, modern fiction, the rules are somewhat relaxed. So what "rules" do you fudge on?

For me, it's the formal sentence structure that requires a verb. Many authors delete a verb if the sentence is a list of items. Here's an example from the beginning of my new novel (3rd in the series of American private detective fiction):

"The efficiency apartment was neat and spotless, maintained by someone who obviously took her student life seriously, a young woman with pride in her modest surroundings. Inexpensive bookshelves, filled to capacity with paperbacks and collegiate texts, lined the walls. Stacks of notebooks, a pristine desk and office-style cubicle, laptop and printer, family photos. A small flatscreen TV and combo DVD player on one shelf. Nearby bed made up, sheets tucked. Adjoined kitchenette gleaming, dining counter and two bar stools the same. Bathroom next, also clean, bright."

And the sentence, for example, "A small flatscreen..." has no verb. This is intentional so as to render the list devoid of emotion and make it "flat" in texture, because the next paragraph vividly desribes how the young woman was murdered.

So I use the non-verb technique to provide better contrast. Further along, dialogue:

“For you to get beautiful, [expletive], you need a suspended damn animation chamber.” A gruff voice. “Hell with that anyway, coming to pick you up. Half hour.”

And here I omit the 3 leading words ... he said in a gruff voice ...

Which also breaks the rules. But again, intentional, as I'm providing the terse nature of the speaker and his conversation, abrupt.

These are a couple of examples. How do you tweak the absolute rules, or do you keep the faith and adhere to the regs always? Example if you can, thanks!

[anomalocaris]

I break some rules, but I feel very strongly that if a writer breaks a "rule," there should be a good reason for doing so. Too many novices don't understand the reasons those rules exist, so they break them just because they're too lazy to bother learning to use the tools of the trade (spelling and grammar) at a professional level. So yeah, break rules -- but not until you thoroughly understand the purpose of the rules, and can make a fully informed decision to break the rules in order to create a specific effect. Otherwise, educated readers will think the author just doesn't know any better. And that never works out so well. See what I did there? Totally broke the rule about not starting a sentence with a conjunction.

[moderntimes]

Ha! Good example. Some "rules" have come from the very ubiquitous and much overused Strunk & White guide, but it's also necessary to know that the book comes from nearly a century ago. Things such as not starting a sentence with a conjunction, and so on. Rules change as usage changes, and let's face it, English is a constantly evolving language. I really don't think that anybody actually teaches these days that you can't start a sentence with a preposition.

Essential is that you as a writer must know your audience, and the first "audience" who sees your stuff is a prospective agent or editor. If I were writing an essay (I also write articles and essays), the level of English is more formal than for, say, mystery fiction. When submitting an article, I adhere to much stricter standards of grammar. Right?

Of course, before the readers ever get their hands on what we've written, there are the editors. My novels went through a standard proofread, then a first-level editor, then a primary editor, three separate passes for all sorts of things, from pure mechanical errors such as a missing period to recommendations regarding style and content.

And let's face it -- most of us here are fledgling or mid-level authors, and unlike Stephen King, who joked that they'd publish his grocery list if he sent it in, we have to pass muster by our submissions being first reviewed by an agent and then and editor or publisher, and we aren't going to be taken on as clients if our writing is full of errors.

You're quite right -- it's essential that we first know the rules before we bend or break them.

[saviolo]

I think you can get away with breaking the rules if it helps create the image that you are after. I like your example of leaving out 'he said in' etc etc. Poets do it all the time, using words to create a mood. But in general, the 'rules' are there because if you don't use them it makes your writing less comprehensible. Or should that be 'using them makes your writing more comprehensible?'

[moderntimes]

I think we're all agreed that bending the formal rules of composition and grammar can be totally acceptable, so long as the author knows which rules are being broken (or tweaked) and why.

There's also a big difference between adjusting sentence structure to help achieve your goals, and simply not knowing or caring that a rule is being ignored.

And of course there are different levels of Engish: common, standard, non-standard, formal, and so on. But rule-bending is also different from just wrong. I see this all the time in major, published fiction: "He was taller than me." or "She was older than me." and it makes me grind my teeth.

[anomalocaris]

Spot on, Moderntimes, about the matching the voice to the audience. A lot of writers don't take that into account. They want to write the way they speak, and don't take into account the fact that written English and spoken English are not entirely the same language. Also, even when we speak, we don't address all audiences in the same way. We speak to our close friends one way, and the audience at an academic conference in quite another. And characters are individuals as well. I think a reader ought, in most cases, to be able to tell who's speaking by the word choice and cadence of their speech. Still, as you said, there's a big difference between "style" and just plain poor grammar. The pluperfect tense exists for a reason, and if a person has reached adulthood without learning to conjugate a verb properly in his native language, I'm not sure writing is going to be his best career choice. Yep, I just used gender specific language. I still hate the plural noun, singular verb thing. But that's a whole 'nother thread, I'm sure!

[moderntimes]

I eschew pluperfect if at all possible in my mystery novels. They are written in standard English and not formal, and it's essential that the style of the book be properly adjusted to the content and genre. I don't however write down to the audience.

And don't think that my writing is "tough guy" speak and 40s-style street slang. That's stereotyping. My private detective is highly intelligent, has a superb education, and is very capable, and uses excellent English.

Of course, his narrative (I write in the traditional private detective first person) is very literate, as is his dialogue. He however uses standard slang.

Critical about dialogue is that it must be patterened for the speaker. I write reviews for a mystery website, and in many novels, the dialogue is wooden and you can't tell who is speaking. The dialogue is also stiff, and simply boring.

What is essential is that the author needs to read dialogue aloud. This allows the writer to "hear" the way the characters speak, and allows the writer to adjust dialogue to make it sound realistic, as well as a unique "voice" for each speaker.

-- 24 Apr 2014, 18:26 --

Here's an example of narrative from my new in-progress novel (3rd in the series of modern American private detective novels), illustrative of my non-dialogue:

[ch 1, an extremely graphic murder scene is described in the preceding paras, then...]

Diorama in blood, meant for us all to absorb, for us to bear witness.

I stood there a moment, stunned, unthinking. Then the stench and blasphemy and evil overtook me and I turned quickly, out the apartment door, choking, spitting up anything in my stomach onto the little lawn. Acidic coffee was all I could offer but the spasms persisted.

Hunched over and dizzy, I eventually regained my balance, deep breathing until I was fairly certain I wouldn’t simply run down the street screaming, continue running and screaming until I was spent, spent of energy and spent of the sordid life in which I found myself this day.

Instead, I steeled my resolve and walked back inside where Homicide Captain Joe Duggan and Detective David Meierhoff were patiently waiting.

ch 2
Morning had begun inauspiciously. A scant hour previous I'd been wakened by an eager buzzing that disrupted my dreams, jumbled and hesitant though they were. I cautiously opened my eyes.

I’d fallen asleep—fallen adrunk, actually—propped in my office chair, feet on the desk, face twisted sideways against the headrest. I straightened from the drooping slouch I’d wedged myself into, cheek stuck from a patch of dried drool, pulling away from the leather with a sickening rip.

Was I drinking myself into a John Bonham exit? Time to cut back, you think? If I could. If I could. I’d refer that to committee for now.

The external buzzing finally ceased while the rattle inside my head continued apace. Cellphone snarkily atop my desk, silent now but proud to have exerted power over my feeble body and mind. No sooner than I breathed relief, it resumed the clarion summons, insistent that I obey. The cell from hell.

Sunlight streaming through the windows didn’t help, stabbing rudely at my eyes, superheating my brain, making me want to hurl that nasty little ringing chunk of smartphone technology against the wall. Instead I calmly picked it up and checked who was intruding upon my stupor at, damn it, six-forty in the [expletive] morning!

Lieutenant—no, I reminded myself—Captain Joseph Michael Duggan, recently promoted to Deputy Chief of Houston Homicide.
I considered slinging the phone anyway but knew full well that the gadget would prove resilient to my luddite behavior, and in accordance with its superb Samsung design and manufacture, roll with the punch, bounce off the wall, and lie there on the office floor, happily making electronic merriment and otherwise invading my personal solitude.

The phone had already cycled into one passthrough to voicemail but Duggan redialed, and I knew he’d keep pushing his repeat button just to taunt and harass me further. I had no choice but to answer.

---- as you can see, the narrative is fairly literate but still written in common, conversational Engish. This is the general narrative style I use, fairly easy reading, not high-blown, but spoken by someone who's educated.

[anomalocaris]

Maybe your character needs one of those novelty alarm clocks you can but these days with a laser target on it and a gun & to shut the alarm off you have to shoot the target on the clock with the laser in the gun! Nice work, though. Sounds like a Sherlock Holmes type detective.

[gali]

I eschew pluperfect if at all possible in my mystery novels. They are written in standard English and not formal, and it's essential that the style of the book be properly adjusted to the content and genre. I don't however write down to the audience.

And don't think that my writing is "tough guy" speak and 40s-style street slang. That's stereotyping. My private detective is highly intelligent, has a superb education, and is very capable, and uses excellent English.

Of course, his narrative (I write in the traditional private detective first person) is very literate, as is his dialogue. He however uses standard slang.

Critical about dialogue is that it must be patterened for the speaker. I write reviews for a mystery website, and in many novels, the dialogue is wooden and you can't tell who is speaking. The dialogue is also stiff, and simply boring.

What is essential is that the author needs to read dialogue aloud. This allows the writer to "hear" the way the characters speak, and allows the writer to adjust dialogue to make it sound realistic, as well as a unique "voice" for each speaker.

-- 24 Apr 2014, 18:26 --

Here's an example of narrative from my new in-progress novel (3rd in the series of modern American private detective novels), illustrative of my non-dialogue:

[ch 1, an extremely graphic murder scene is described in the preceding paras, then...]

Diorama in blood, meant for us all to absorb, for us to bear witness.

I stood there a moment, stunned, unthinking. Then the stench and blasphemy and evil overtook me and I turned quickly, out the apartment door, choking, spitting up anything in my stomach onto the little lawn. Acidic coffee was all I could offer but the spasms persisted.

Hunched over and dizzy, I eventually regained my balance, deep breathing until I was fairly certain I wouldn’t simply run down the street screaming, continue running and screaming until I was spent, spent of energy and spent of the sordid life in which I found myself this day.

Instead, I steeled my resolve and walked back inside where Homicide Captain Joe Duggan and Detective David Meierhoff were patiently waiting.

ch 2
Morning had begun inauspiciously. A scant hour previous I'd been wakened by an eager buzzing that disrupted my dreams, jumbled and hesitant though they were. I cautiously opened my eyes.

I’d fallen asleep—fallen adrunk, actually—propped in my office chair, feet on the desk, face twisted sideways against the headrest. I straightened from the drooping slouch I’d wedged myself into, cheek stuck from a patch of dried drool, pulling away from the leather with a sickening rip.

Was I drinking myself into a John Bonham exit? Time to cut back, you think? If I could. If I could. I’d refer that to committee for now.

The external buzzing finally ceased while the rattle inside my head continued apace. Cellphone snarkily atop my desk, silent now but proud to have exerted power over my feeble body and mind. No sooner than I breathed relief, it resumed the clarion summons, insistent that I obey. The cell from hell.

Sunlight streaming through the windows didn’t help, stabbing rudely at my eyes, superheating my brain, making me want to hurl that nasty little ringing chunk of smartphone technology against the wall. Instead I calmly picked it up and checked who was intruding upon my stupor at, damn it, six-forty in the [expletive] morning!

Lieutenant—no, I reminded myself—Captain Joseph Michael Duggan, recently promoted to Deputy Chief of Houston Homicide.
I considered slinging the phone anyway but knew full well that the gadget would prove resilient to my luddite behavior, and in accordance with its superb Samsung design and manufacture, roll with the punch, bounce off the wall, and lie there on the office floor, happily making electronic merriment and otherwise invading my personal solitude.

The phone had already cycled into one passthrough to voicemail but Duggan redialed, and I knew he’d keep pushing his repeat button just to taunt and harass me further. I had no choice but to answer.

---- as you can see, the narrative is fairly literate but still written in common, conversational Engish. This is the general narrative style I use, fairly easy reading, not high-blown, but spoken by someone who's educated.

Sounds intriguing! I like the writing. May I ask what is the name of the previous book?

[moderntimes]

The 2 novels are 1-"Blood Spiral" and 2-"Blood Storm", both available via Amazon in trade paperback and Kindle. I recommend the 2nd book, as it's the better novel. Each is written to stand alone so they may be read out of sequence. "Blood Vengeance" is under construction and should be finished mid-year.

[gali]

The 2 novels are 1-"Blood Spiral" and 2-"Blood Storm", both available via Amazon in trade paperback and Kindle. I recommend the 2nd book, as it's the better novel. Each is written to stand alone so they may be read out of sequence. "Blood Vengeance" is under construction and should be finished mid-year.

Thank you, I will take a look. Good luck with your new book!

[moderntimes]

Thanks for giving the books a try. The Kindle versions are of course a bargain. Even I could afford them! ha ha

Understand that they are modern, adult-oriented mystery fiction. Although within the private detective genre, they're not however 40-ish Mickey Spillane oriented. My PI is intelligent and well educated, and the books present a strongly realistic image of how a modern PI works. Yes, there are action scenes but they are also rendered realistically, albeit graphically. The Amazon reviews with the books are fair assessments of the novels.

As always, should anyone wish an autographed copy, PM me and I'll provide a mailing address, and I'll cover return postage.

And should you choose to read my book(s) I'll be pleased to get your feedback in a PM. Thanks!

[WriterBLAlley]

The number one rule: You have to know the rules before you can break them.

[moderntimes]

I'd be interested in seeing examples that others have of how they broke the rules in their own writing. Anyone have examples from your books or stories that illustrate what we've been discussing here? Please post excerpts if possible, we'd all like to see.

[WriterBLAlley]

I open my novels with a single italic line as a door opener, then begin the story. Either a setup, or a character speaking.