Could you date someone who doesn't read?

yamileth · Post by **yamileth** » 19 Mar 2010, 14:11

Yes. In fact, i'm dating a guy right now who doesn't read for pleasure like I do. It's just not one of his hobbies. I can go other places (both online and off) to talk books; one person doesn't have to fulfill every single one of my needs.

As long as you can relate to each other in other ways (and he or she respects your passions), I think it's fine. It also helps that he's very intelligent in other ways; he's the classic "emotional intelligence quotient" kind of person who excels in social situations where I can struggle.

bluebutterfly55 · Post by **bluebutterfly55** » 25 Mar 2010, 18:42

Being "a reader" isn't the only thing that makes up a person. If a person considers themselves ONLY "a reader", well, there must not be much to that person. It is saying that who they are is simply what they read. Now, let me clarify, people on here are not saying that they are "just" readers but they speak of it as if that is their whole being.

I enjoy reading also. I read quite a bit, but I also enjoy doing other things that stimulate my mind and allow me to be creative.

What I think is important when dating someone, is that they have an appreciation for what I do and enjoy; that they respect it and have an interest in it (that doesn't mean they have to engage in the things I like).

In my case, my boyfriend admits that he doesn't have the patience to read long books or fiction like I do, BUT he looks forward to me telling him about the books I read and we discuss the books.

I don't take interest in reading world news and nonfiction YET, he loves reading about current events daily. And, I look forward to him telling me the latest.

So, knowledge isn't only gained from reading books, but also magazines and news papers or watching educational programs or the news and from experiences.

I wouldn't say that I am more intelligent then him or that he is more than me, but we do take an interest in eachother's interests.

Before he met me, he had never taken interst in poetry and writing stories until I began to write it for him and share it with him. He had never tapped into that creative side in himself and I must say he is a natural.

And, before I met him, I was clueless and afraid of flying but being the skilled pilot that he is, he showed me the beauty and ease in flying. I love it!

Sometimes, in a relationship, your (intellectual) differences can be an influence on one another. If they are positive influences, than your're expanding your knowledge twice as fast.

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 26 Mar 2010, 11:59

Before he met me, he had never taken interst in poetry and writing stories until I began to write it for him and share it with him. He had never tapped into that creative side in himself and I must say he is a natural.

That's how my previous relationship was.
My ex-boyfriend was more into knocking himself and other guys out in football than reading, while I often preferred reading (though i'm a huge sports fan and play a lot).
So we kind of traded off, he showed me more plays in football and I explained how to better understand books so he could pick one out.
I also helped with his poetry (he loved writing it) and grammar, it was a good trade.

He wasn't at my intellectual level, but we got along great, till he cheated, haha.

flyinghigh450 · Post by **flyinghigh450** » 29 Mar 2010, 16:21

My current boyfriend doesn't read much at all. Somewhere deep inside of him self, I think there's a small desire to read. He likes to go to the book store with me, and he usually picks up one or two he thinks he might read, but I tell him he should probably finish the one he has. Take it slow kinda thing. But we have other interests in common, and when I feel like reading, he can play video games. It works out well for us.

shokosugi · Post by **shokosugi** » 29 Mar 2010, 21:44

absolutely not. I like women who reads alot. one of the things i like about my wife

Julius_Orange · Post by **Julius_Orange** » 30 Mar 2010, 03:04

Yes, as long as they let me read and don't ask "what's wrong" while I'm reading.

Aim4TheHead · Post by **Aim4TheHead** » 31 Mar 2010, 03:27

I am dating someone who doesn't like to read but I'm slowly getting him to start.

albie · Post by **albie** » 31 Mar 2010, 08:14

No Never!

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 01 Apr 2010, 10:17

Haha, I honestly don't think it matters so long as they don't interrupt me.
Sure, chill next to me, lay up against me, whatever; just don't start talking to me and getting peeved when I don't answer or give you that "leave me the F alone" look.

Haha, then it's all good.

a_rosas · Post by **a_rosas** » 26 Apr 2010, 18:12

Yes... my ex-boyfriend... I think that as long as they don't bother me while I read its ok... you can lay next to me and read a magazine or eat whatever as long as you give my time to read

Stinkin' Fascist · Post by **Stinkin' Fascist** » 27 Apr 2010, 00:04

Yes... my ex-boyfriend... I think that as long as they don't bother me while I read its ok... you can lay next to me and read a magazine or eat whatever as long as you give my time to read

Thank you!
So many of my friends don't understand that.
They think cause I'm in a relationship I shouldn't ignore them so much, but noo...

Retired Teacher · Post by **Retired Teacher** » 08 May 2010, 17:53

If the person I was dating was a reader, I consider that to be a perk. It is not necessary as long as they understood I needed my "quiet time" to read and that it was not a slam on them. It is not as if I would rather be reading than be talking to them, it is just that reading is a big part of my life and I will not give it up.

I am married now and my husband is not a big reader. If I can get him into a book, he will bury himself until it is done. To compromise, if I want to read a book, he will put on the headphones and watch TV. We are together but involved in our own passions.

dansgoldilocks · Post by **dansgoldilocks** » 09 May 2010, 08:40

I actually was married for 3 yrs to a man who never read. Among many other problems in our relationship, this was yet another. It was difficult, being a voracious reader and pretty much constantly having a book in my hands, trying to have a relationship with someone who had no interest in reading whatsoever. We could never discuss books, he could never help me decide what to read when I couldn't make up my own mind.

My boyfriend and I are both avid readers. Most of the time, I am the one to buy them, simply because he is a truck driver and doesn't have many opportunities to go to the bookstore. lol But I generally read the books, pass them on to my parents (both also huge readers), and then to my boyfriend. He and I actually just agreed last night that I would get Grapes of Wrath so we can both read it, as neither of us have thus far. I find that even though we don't necessarily discuss the books that we have both read, it does add a dimension to our relationship that was missing from my former marriage. I can talk to him about how I found a book to be slow, poorly written or just not that good, or how I think a book is excellent, wonderfully written, and he's just got to read it. And he often recommends books to me, and sometimes websites, as we'll read anything, not just books. lol

I think....if forced, if everything else about the person were absolutely ideal, the perfect mate, I could probably force myself to overlook a lack of reading interest. Fortunately, my boyfriend is absolutely ideal for me, the perfect mate for me, and he loves to read, so I will never be forced to make that choice.

pontalba · Post by **pontalba** » 09 May 2010, 15:48

I am fortunate in that my OH loves to read, and has in fact, expanded my horizons of reading. One of our favorite shopping experiences is to cruise second hand book stores looking for that last title of an author we both like, or finding a new author we haven't yet read. Library sales are wonderful too, and we go most every month.

And, since he is my soul mate, neither of us have to worry about a partner that doesn't read.

Nell's Mama · Post by **Nell's Mama** » 20 May 2010, 17:29

I'm currently married to a person who does not read. The last book that he read was probably something he had to read for school. I must say that the "read or not to read" does pose a problem in our marriage. I think it's just the lack of interest that he shows irritates me a little, relationships are about compromise (pretending to like something for the others sake..LOL) and when he just blows off going to the bookstore or doesn't listen when I tell him the interesting part of a book, it can cause tension.