Jounral Entry #8

[VSandoval01]

I stare out through glass doors,
Searching for his car with ease.
Wondering why he's still there,
Underneath my beautiful emerald tree.

I stare out through shattered doors
And wonder if he awoke,
On the right side of my bed,
Where I used to sleep.

I stare out through mirrors
And wonder if he's watching my TV
On the right side of my bed
Where I used to lay and read.

And every single time,
Like swallowing a knife,
A shortness of breathe,
It ends my life.

A deep purge of happiness
Lament crawls into place,
That for a moment,
I'd rather be erased.

For those brief moments,
I let it take over my life,
How I let it consume what I once built,
What is no longer mine to maintain.

How I made it back home today, is beyond me
For today was a day to simply escape, you see.
I looked back today and saw, that once upon a time,
His car was parked underneath that beautiful emerald tree.

-VS

[KingBeiser]

I like the aspect of which its written, from a point of view of someone who has that paranoia that that person wont return. Though, the rhyme pattern you have going on is throwing me off. I know poetry is kind of free form, and it doesnt really matter how it's done, but when I start with an ABCB pattern for the first stanza, I kind of look for the same pattern throughout the rest of the poem. But otherwise, good job.