View on relationships

Talha Mahmood · Post by **Talha Mahmood** » 12 Jul 2017, 07:01

The question is really stunning..... I think that if it seems that marriage can no longer be continued with kids, separation is the best method to save your kids from daily home war which takes place between mother and father.

gali · Post by **gali** » 12 Jul 2017, 08:48

margy wangari wrote:I would never stand in an abusive relationship for the sake of my kids because the kids will be affected by the abuse.There's no way a kid can be brought up in an abusive environment and be expected to have no negative impact

I agree with you, abuse shouldn't be tolerated!

-- July 12th, 2017, 4:52 pm --

Talha Mahmood wrote:The question is really stunning..... I think that if it seems that marriage can no longer be continued with kids, separation is the best method to save your kids from daily home war which takes place between mother and father.

I agree that separation in some cases is the best way. It's better for all sides.

amcanelly3 · Post by **amcanelly3** » 12 Jul 2017, 08:59

If the heads of the household are miserable and can't stand each other the children will feel that misery, no matter how well they think they hide it. That being said, it takes a really good working relationship to co-parent outside of marriage for those kids to not feel from a broken home, and most kids don't get that.

gali · Post by **gali** » 12 Jul 2017, 09:10

amcanelly3 wrote:If the heads of the household are miserable and can't stand each other the children will feel that misery, no matter how well they think they hide it. That being said, it takes a really good working relationship to co-parent outside of marriage for those kids to not feel from a broken home, and most kids don't get that.

I agree. I think it is better for the kids to see their parents apart and happy rather than together and miserable. In some cases, the kids see their dad more often after he left home.

Lyra · Post by **Lyra** » 12 Jul 2017, 11:13

I support Nadia's view. No person should be with anyone who abuses them even if it were for the kids, because at the end of the day, you are saving yourself for your kids to fight for them another day.

gali · Post by **gali** » 12 Jul 2017, 11:23

Lyra wrote:I support Nadia's view. No person should be with anyone who abuses them even if it were for the kids, because at the end of the day, you are saving yourself for your kids to fight for them another day.

Agree! I think most of the respondents supported that view.

Samantha_254 · Post by **Samantha_254** » 12 Jul 2017, 12:28

Both sides isn't wrong but because both of them are making choices for the sake of their child I would say both. If I had to choose a side, I would choose Nadia. I wouldn't stay in a relationship that makes me unhappy because that may cause me to become a different person on the long run and the outcome probably isn't good either. When it comes to my child, I will do whatever I can to protect them and give them love but also show that in order to be happy it doesn't always require a person to be in a relationship.

gali · Post by **gali** » 12 Jul 2017, 12:30

Samantha_254 wrote:Both sides isn't wrong but because both of them are making choices for the sake of their child I would say both. If I had to choose a side, I would choose Nadia. I wouldn't stay in a relationship that makes me unhappy because that may cause me to become a different person on the long run and the outcome probably isn't good either. When it comes to my child, I will do whatever I can to protect them and give them love but also show that in order to be happy it doesn't always require a person to be in a relationship.

Well said! I agree that one doesn't always have to be in a relationship to be happy.

desareedany · Post by **desareedany** » 12 Jul 2017, 15:04

No one should ever stay in an abusive relationship for any reason. If you are raising kids in that environment, unfortunately they usually pick up the attitudes of the abuser and when they grow up, they start that cycle of violence all over again. It's just not a valid excuse to stay for the kids sake. There is always help out there if you have nowhere else to go.

The Researcher · Post by **The Researcher** » 12 Jul 2017, 23:37

No, a person should never stay in an abusive relationship even for the sake of kids. Because it leaves every person unhappy in the family. Also the kids who grow up watching this kind of relationship have a hard time committing in their relationships. They grow bitter and skeptical.

gali · Post by **gali** » 12 Jul 2017, 23:43

I agree with you. Indeed, no one should stay in an abusive relationship for any reason!

Heidi M Simone · Post by **Heidi M Simone** » 13 Jul 2017, 05:28

Children are very perceptive and they can definitely tell when their parents aren't in love. I agree with if the marriage isn't working out, then the two parties should not be living within the same household. It becomes unhealthy for the children and their perception of what relationships are meant to be. Therefore, this may cause the never-ending cycle of unhappy and potentially abusive relationships.

Aubrey Lewis · Post by **Aubrey Lewis** » 13 Jul 2017, 06:26

For me, staying in an abusive relationship for the kids will not work out. Once the children know, in the end, they will still be hurt. It's not all about the parents just like it's not all about the kids. There's such a thing called balance, and it's much better to have the truth come out and move on from there.

That's my take on it.

desareedany · Post by **desareedany** » 13 Jul 2017, 12:11

Staying married even though you don't love each other for the kids sake I'd have to say is not the worst thing in the world. My parents split because they didn't love each other but there was no abuse. Then my mom married my stepdad who pretty much mentally and physically abused me my whole life. They married when I was 5. I'm 32 and they are still married. So honestly, I would have taken parents in a loveless marriage any day over what I ended up with.

Heidi M Simone · Post by **Heidi M Simone** » 13 Jul 2017, 12:13

desareedany wrote:Staying married even though you don't love each other for the kids sake I'd have to say is not the worst thing in the world. My parents split because they didn't love each other but there was no abuse. Then my mom married my stepdad who pretty much mentally and physically abused me my whole life. They married when I was 5. I'm 32 and they are still married. So honestly, I would have taken parents in a loveless marriage any day over what I ended up with.

Thank you for sharing something so personal. I'm so sorry you had to live through something so horrible. This is an extremely valid point.