I WISH LOVE WAS A POND...

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Daniel Muky
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Icon I WISH LOVE WAS A POND...

Post by Daniel Muky »

I wish love was a pond
That I could fall in at will.
I wish friends were novels
That I could always have one with me.
I wish loneliness was a dream
That I could wake to see a better day.
I harboured a hope that tomorrow I will have one to laugh with,
But today was yesterday's tomorrow.
I had tales i felt like telling,
i turned to my diary,
But the conversation was one sided.
Can a soul be created just for me,
One who will never hate the shy in me?
To laugh, tease and share all that is hers with me?
oh what a loner i am?
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Post by nfdoughe »

You have some wonderful ideas in this poem; I like it.
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Tchrjokes456
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Post by Tchrjokes456 »

Oh, the metaphors! There is so much to explore here. If you can fall in the pond of love at will, then you can climb out at will. If a friend is a novel that you can always have with you, then they can also be misplaced or change hands. If loneliness is the dream, what is the reality? If a soul can be made for you, were you not also made for them? If she shares all that is hers, mustn't you also share all that is yours? Fantastic poem.
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Daniel Muky
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Post by Daniel Muky »

Tchrjokes456 wrote: 16 Dec 2019, 22:27 Oh, the metaphors! There is so much to explore here. If you can fall in the pond of love at will, then you can climb out at will. If a friend is a novel that you can always have with you, then they can also be misplaced or change hands. If loneliness is the dream, what is the reality? If a soul can be made for you, were you not also made for them? If she shares all that is hers, mustn't you also share all that is yours? Fantastic poem.
Oh...you've written a poem of your own now..haha...you've made me look at my own poem with new eyes.. I only wrote as I felt pondered these deeper and funnier meanings..thanks for appreciating
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Daniel Muky
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Post by Daniel Muky »

nfdoughe wrote: 15 Dec 2019, 19:11 You have some wonderful ideas in this poem; I like it.
Thank you:)
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Post by TheChii »

Oh, I love this poem! The poem is short, but sweet. In reading this, I could feeling the desire and longing. It's beautiful!
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Post by timur777 »

It is a highly romantic poem. Rhymes are wisely chosen. Metaphors are right on point. Well written. thanks for sharing
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Daniel Muky
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Post by Daniel Muky »

timur777 wrote: 24 Dec 2019, 22:35 It is a highly romantic poem. Rhymes are wisely chosen. Metaphors are right on point. Well written. thanks for sharing
Thanks for appreciating
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Daniel Muky
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Post by Daniel Muky »

TheChii wrote: 22 Dec 2019, 23:49 Oh, I love this poem! The poem is short, but sweet. In reading this, I could feeling the desire and longing. It's beautiful!
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Daniel Muky
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Post by Daniel Muky »

TheChii wrote: 22 Dec 2019, 23:49 Oh, I love this poem! The poem is short, but sweet. In reading this, I could feeling the desire and longing. It's beautiful!
Thanks
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tebekaemi
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Post by tebekaemi »

Nice one, I love it.
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Daniel Muky
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Post by Daniel Muky »

tebekaemi wrote: 09 Jan 2020, 14:28 Nice one, I love it.
Thanks
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