Review by annadeniseneal -- Dying Well
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annadeniseneal
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- Joined: 16 Mar 2020, 10:18
- Favorite Book: Dying Well
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- Latest Review: Dying Well by Susan Ducharme Hoben
Review by annadeniseneal -- Dying Well
[Following is a volunteer review of "Dying Well" by Susan Ducharme Hoben.]
Death is a large part of life, and for whatever the reason, many of us give very little thought to our own death. Perhaps because it is scary to imagine how it will feel or if there will be pain. Others may wonder what will happen to their spirit or soul after it departs from the body. No matter the religious or spiritual belief, the fact remains that every one of us that lives will have to die. This book has truly helped me begin to appreciate this part of life.
In Dying Well: Our Journey of Love and Loss, the author, Susan Ducharme Hoben, begins with her own bout with breast cancer and how it changed her perspective on living. For eight years after surviving chemo treatments, she held an annual Celebration of Life at her home. Food, friends, family, wine, and chocolate were in abundance, as well as entertainment in interesting forms. Her loving husband, Bruce, was there for every step as she healed and began to live life after cancer.
When Bruce's doctors find a cancerous lump in his esophagus, he begins a nine-month journey to his death. But he staunchly decides that it be on his own terms. And his wife is by his side. Her book tells the story of the decisions they both make over this time. All intentional and all planned to take advantage of the little time he will have left, even though they don't know how much time it will be. Bruce retires. Susan plans a family vacation to the beach with their children and grandchildren. Bruce chooses one round of chemotherapy. They travel to San Juan. They take their oldest granddaughter to New York City. They spend more time with friends. They bring their families together. Susan plans his memorial service. Bruce helps to write his own obituary.
One of my favorite quotes in the book is when Bruce learns the cancer has returned and moved to other parts of his body. In the doctor's office he tells the doctor he wants to stop chemotherapy. Susan shares this thought: "Society often characterizes stopping the battle against terminal illness as giving up hope. Bruce hadn’t given up hope; he had simply changed what he hoped for. He had always hoped to celebrate life up to his last breath. Now he hoped that his last breath would be taken at home, surrounded by his family." The book continues through the next three months of Bruce's life. It was spent exactly how he wanted. His life ended exactly how he wanted as well: at his home, surrounded by his family. Bruce's brave spirit and ability to verbalize his wishes gave them the boldness to embrace his transition with peace and grace. Though she wrote the book, Bruce's personality is clearly shown through the loving way she writes about her husband of over 40 years.
Ultimately, this book is about facing death with power instead of shame and strength instead of fear. The author's family and their approach to her husband's death teaches us that it is possible to prepare for death, not only financially and legally, but also personally, by taking your loved one's wishes to heart. It was very timely read for me, as I have recently lost a loved one. It was beautiful to read about how Susan loved Bruce, in life and in his death. I'm glad she shared his story with us. This book is perfect! I found no mistakes, but instead I was truly drawn into her storytelling and love for her husband. I rate it a 4 out of 4 wholeheartedly.
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Dying Well
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
Death is a large part of life, and for whatever the reason, many of us give very little thought to our own death. Perhaps because it is scary to imagine how it will feel or if there will be pain. Others may wonder what will happen to their spirit or soul after it departs from the body. No matter the religious or spiritual belief, the fact remains that every one of us that lives will have to die. This book has truly helped me begin to appreciate this part of life.
In Dying Well: Our Journey of Love and Loss, the author, Susan Ducharme Hoben, begins with her own bout with breast cancer and how it changed her perspective on living. For eight years after surviving chemo treatments, she held an annual Celebration of Life at her home. Food, friends, family, wine, and chocolate were in abundance, as well as entertainment in interesting forms. Her loving husband, Bruce, was there for every step as she healed and began to live life after cancer.
When Bruce's doctors find a cancerous lump in his esophagus, he begins a nine-month journey to his death. But he staunchly decides that it be on his own terms. And his wife is by his side. Her book tells the story of the decisions they both make over this time. All intentional and all planned to take advantage of the little time he will have left, even though they don't know how much time it will be. Bruce retires. Susan plans a family vacation to the beach with their children and grandchildren. Bruce chooses one round of chemotherapy. They travel to San Juan. They take their oldest granddaughter to New York City. They spend more time with friends. They bring their families together. Susan plans his memorial service. Bruce helps to write his own obituary.
One of my favorite quotes in the book is when Bruce learns the cancer has returned and moved to other parts of his body. In the doctor's office he tells the doctor he wants to stop chemotherapy. Susan shares this thought: "Society often characterizes stopping the battle against terminal illness as giving up hope. Bruce hadn’t given up hope; he had simply changed what he hoped for. He had always hoped to celebrate life up to his last breath. Now he hoped that his last breath would be taken at home, surrounded by his family." The book continues through the next three months of Bruce's life. It was spent exactly how he wanted. His life ended exactly how he wanted as well: at his home, surrounded by his family. Bruce's brave spirit and ability to verbalize his wishes gave them the boldness to embrace his transition with peace and grace. Though she wrote the book, Bruce's personality is clearly shown through the loving way she writes about her husband of over 40 years.
Ultimately, this book is about facing death with power instead of shame and strength instead of fear. The author's family and their approach to her husband's death teaches us that it is possible to prepare for death, not only financially and legally, but also personally, by taking your loved one's wishes to heart. It was very timely read for me, as I have recently lost a loved one. It was beautiful to read about how Susan loved Bruce, in life and in his death. I'm glad she shared his story with us. This book is perfect! I found no mistakes, but instead I was truly drawn into her storytelling and love for her husband. I rate it a 4 out of 4 wholeheartedly.
******
Dying Well
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
Latest Review: Dying Well by Susan Ducharme Hoben
