Review of The Unfakeable Code®
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Nyarangi J
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Review of The Unfakeable Code®
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Unfakeable Code®" by Tony Jeton Selimi.]
I don’t think we ever really leave childhood behind. We just get older, taller, louder. But emotionally? So much of what we carry—how we respond to pressure, how we handle conflict, how we show up at work—is shaped long before we ever sit in a boardroom or lead a team. That’s one of the threads Tony Jeton Selimi pulls at in The Unfakeable Code®, and it unraveled a lot more than I expected. He explores how childhood conditioning—the silent scripts we inherit about who we need to be in order to feel loved or safe—ends up shaping the adult personas we wear to survive. Especially in business environments, these masks can look like ambition or composure or drive, but underneath, they’re often stitched together by fear, perfectionism, or unhealed pain. The book doesn’t just name this truth; it invites you to confront it and then offers a way through.
I think the real strength of this book is how Tony connects personal healing to professional resilience without making it feel like therapy disguised as business advice. His core idea is that emotional mastery isn’t a soft skill—it’s a strategic asset. And honestly, that made a lot of sense to me. When people are stuck in scarcity mindsets or reacting from old emotional wounds, it shows up everywhere: in how they manage people, how they react to failure, how they handle success. Tony reframes pain—not as something to avoid or numb—but as a sacred teacher necessary for authentic growth. I liked that. I liked the boldness of it, the honesty. It’s not a comfortable message, but it’s a necessary one. Especially in professional settings where pain is usually treated like a weakness you should hide in favor of performance.
In the chapter where he breaks down how unresolved childhood pain often manifests in adult workplace dynamics, I found myself nodding more than I’d care to admit. For example, when he describes people who overwork to avoid feeling worthless or who manipulate meetings to avoid being exposed—it’s like, okay, how many of us are just scared kids in power suits trying not to get found out? And more importantly, what could business look like if we actually healed that? Tony’s argument is that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about not breaking in the first place. It’s about developing an emotional shield, not a wall, that lets us face challenge with grounded strength rather than defensive performance.
Still, I think it’s fair to say that while the book invites embracing pain, it sometimes underestimates how overwhelming trauma can feel to someone without access to therapy or deep support systems. There were moments where the emotional ask felt big—big enough that I wondered how someone on the edge, without a strong community or mental health resources, might receive it. I don’t think the intention was to gloss over how heavy this work can be. And maybe part of me wanted just a bit more guidance there, something softer to hold onto before diving in so deep.
Even so, the book stayed with me in unexpected ways. I started noticing where old beliefs—some of them I hadn’t thought about since I was a teenager—still directed how I behaved during feedback at work or in how I responded to someone questioning me. I can say I’ve read plenty of books that talk about self-awareness, but The Unfakeable Code® made it feel urgent, like something I owed myself and the people I work with. Because if you’re in a position of influence—whether as a manager, a parent, or a partner—your emotional wounds don’t just affect you. They ripple out.
This book gave me a language for things I’ve felt for a long time but didn’t know how to explain. It made me pause. It made me reassess the origin of some of my habits and rethink how I want to show up when things get tough. For its courage, clarity, and genuine usefulness, I’m giving it 5 out of 5 stars. It's a book I’ll probably come back to—not because it’s perfect, but because it keeps asking the right questions. And honestly, I think that’s more valuable than easy answers anyway.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
I don’t think we ever really leave childhood behind. We just get older, taller, louder. But emotionally? So much of what we carry—how we respond to pressure, how we handle conflict, how we show up at work—is shaped long before we ever sit in a boardroom or lead a team. That’s one of the threads Tony Jeton Selimi pulls at in The Unfakeable Code®, and it unraveled a lot more than I expected. He explores how childhood conditioning—the silent scripts we inherit about who we need to be in order to feel loved or safe—ends up shaping the adult personas we wear to survive. Especially in business environments, these masks can look like ambition or composure or drive, but underneath, they’re often stitched together by fear, perfectionism, or unhealed pain. The book doesn’t just name this truth; it invites you to confront it and then offers a way through.
I think the real strength of this book is how Tony connects personal healing to professional resilience without making it feel like therapy disguised as business advice. His core idea is that emotional mastery isn’t a soft skill—it’s a strategic asset. And honestly, that made a lot of sense to me. When people are stuck in scarcity mindsets or reacting from old emotional wounds, it shows up everywhere: in how they manage people, how they react to failure, how they handle success. Tony reframes pain—not as something to avoid or numb—but as a sacred teacher necessary for authentic growth. I liked that. I liked the boldness of it, the honesty. It’s not a comfortable message, but it’s a necessary one. Especially in professional settings where pain is usually treated like a weakness you should hide in favor of performance.
In the chapter where he breaks down how unresolved childhood pain often manifests in adult workplace dynamics, I found myself nodding more than I’d care to admit. For example, when he describes people who overwork to avoid feeling worthless or who manipulate meetings to avoid being exposed—it’s like, okay, how many of us are just scared kids in power suits trying not to get found out? And more importantly, what could business look like if we actually healed that? Tony’s argument is that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about not breaking in the first place. It’s about developing an emotional shield, not a wall, that lets us face challenge with grounded strength rather than defensive performance.
Still, I think it’s fair to say that while the book invites embracing pain, it sometimes underestimates how overwhelming trauma can feel to someone without access to therapy or deep support systems. There were moments where the emotional ask felt big—big enough that I wondered how someone on the edge, without a strong community or mental health resources, might receive it. I don’t think the intention was to gloss over how heavy this work can be. And maybe part of me wanted just a bit more guidance there, something softer to hold onto before diving in so deep.
Even so, the book stayed with me in unexpected ways. I started noticing where old beliefs—some of them I hadn’t thought about since I was a teenager—still directed how I behaved during feedback at work or in how I responded to someone questioning me. I can say I’ve read plenty of books that talk about self-awareness, but The Unfakeable Code® made it feel urgent, like something I owed myself and the people I work with. Because if you’re in a position of influence—whether as a manager, a parent, or a partner—your emotional wounds don’t just affect you. They ripple out.
This book gave me a language for things I’ve felt for a long time but didn’t know how to explain. It made me pause. It made me reassess the origin of some of my habits and rethink how I want to show up when things get tough. For its courage, clarity, and genuine usefulness, I’m giving it 5 out of 5 stars. It's a book I’ll probably come back to—not because it’s perfect, but because it keeps asking the right questions. And honestly, I think that’s more valuable than easy answers anyway.
******
The Unfakeable Code®
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
