Review by kathy2705 -- Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a ...
Posted: 22 Jul 2020, 04:51
[Following is a volunteer review of "Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life" by Lewis Kempfer.]
Don’t Mind Me I’m Just Having a Bad Life by Lewis Kempfer
The effects of being sexually, verbally, and physically abused at a young age leads Kempfer to a painful life of drug abuse and sex addiction. The abuse from the male figures in his life almost condemn him to a life of constantly looking for love in the wrong ways and in the wrong places. His unstable foundations cause him to move from place to place where he not only experiments with drugs and sex, but with religion and spirituality. After many years of denial, a painful experience causes him to acknowledge that God had always been with him.
In his memoir, Don’t Mind Me I’m Just Having a Bad Life, Lewis Kempfer details the events of his unbelievably twisted life. Feelings of insufficiency arise in him from a young age, where he notices how much he is different from other boys. These feeling of insufficiency are further fuelled by his father Dennis, who abuses him and takes away his innocence. The abuse causes him to be on a mad hunt for love in places like gay clubs, motels and private booths. Years after dropping out of College, he eventually manages to complete a bachelor’s degree that helps him secure a career at a place he always dreamt of working. But due self-hate and recklessness, self-destruction becomes his all-time companion.
Kempfer tells his story in a most honest and open way. His writing allows the reader to enter his mind and understand the cognitive dissonance that plays a major role in his path to self-destruction. One can relate to his dilemma because although as humans we know better, that does not necessarily mean that we do better. It takes a very brave person to recount their experiences and explicitly admit that they were stupid. Furthermore, Kempfer is bold enough to reveal his dirtiest and darkest actions, something most writers wouldn’t do.
The memoire highlights how the effects of child abuse can be permanent. Although Kempfer mostly focuses on his need for love and validation, he also notes how his mother’s need for love left him exposed and vulnerable to the hate and abuse of his father, stepfather and other men. She needed the love of a man even though it would jeopardise her son’s well-being, just as much as he became desperate for love from the people that did not love him. This shows how especially single parents can have a dilemma in balancing healthy relationships between their partner and their children. Had his mother prioritised his safety and acceptance in a brutal world maybe he would not have turned out to be such a wreck. It is encouraging that he never stopped believing that someone one up there- God was always on his side. Much like most of us do, he prays himself out of many hurdles that would have been his ultimate end.
What I liked is the blithesome manner the author chooses to write the story. The author presents the dire events in a way that does not make the reader want to close the book, but rather to read further. However, I disliked the exaggerated humour which I feel that often divert the attention of the reader amiss his intended point.
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having a Bad Life, appeals to a large audience of readers. This book is for mature readers because it contains explicit language and descriptions of sexual scenes. However, I would not recommend this book to people suffering from any addictions, simply because the author does not focus on recovery, but rather on his narrow, almost incredulous escape.
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having a Bad Life, is plainspoken with less of the novel technique, which makes it more like an exhaustive autobiography nevertheless I give this book 4 out of 4 stars. The book is well edited and the author managed to draw my attention in such a way that I could read the book in one go. I could sympathise with Kempfer and accompany him through his excruciating life journey.
******
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes
Don’t Mind Me I’m Just Having a Bad Life by Lewis Kempfer
The effects of being sexually, verbally, and physically abused at a young age leads Kempfer to a painful life of drug abuse and sex addiction. The abuse from the male figures in his life almost condemn him to a life of constantly looking for love in the wrong ways and in the wrong places. His unstable foundations cause him to move from place to place where he not only experiments with drugs and sex, but with religion and spirituality. After many years of denial, a painful experience causes him to acknowledge that God had always been with him.
In his memoir, Don’t Mind Me I’m Just Having a Bad Life, Lewis Kempfer details the events of his unbelievably twisted life. Feelings of insufficiency arise in him from a young age, where he notices how much he is different from other boys. These feeling of insufficiency are further fuelled by his father Dennis, who abuses him and takes away his innocence. The abuse causes him to be on a mad hunt for love in places like gay clubs, motels and private booths. Years after dropping out of College, he eventually manages to complete a bachelor’s degree that helps him secure a career at a place he always dreamt of working. But due self-hate and recklessness, self-destruction becomes his all-time companion.
Kempfer tells his story in a most honest and open way. His writing allows the reader to enter his mind and understand the cognitive dissonance that plays a major role in his path to self-destruction. One can relate to his dilemma because although as humans we know better, that does not necessarily mean that we do better. It takes a very brave person to recount their experiences and explicitly admit that they were stupid. Furthermore, Kempfer is bold enough to reveal his dirtiest and darkest actions, something most writers wouldn’t do.
The memoire highlights how the effects of child abuse can be permanent. Although Kempfer mostly focuses on his need for love and validation, he also notes how his mother’s need for love left him exposed and vulnerable to the hate and abuse of his father, stepfather and other men. She needed the love of a man even though it would jeopardise her son’s well-being, just as much as he became desperate for love from the people that did not love him. This shows how especially single parents can have a dilemma in balancing healthy relationships between their partner and their children. Had his mother prioritised his safety and acceptance in a brutal world maybe he would not have turned out to be such a wreck. It is encouraging that he never stopped believing that someone one up there- God was always on his side. Much like most of us do, he prays himself out of many hurdles that would have been his ultimate end.
What I liked is the blithesome manner the author chooses to write the story. The author presents the dire events in a way that does not make the reader want to close the book, but rather to read further. However, I disliked the exaggerated humour which I feel that often divert the attention of the reader amiss his intended point.
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having a Bad Life, appeals to a large audience of readers. This book is for mature readers because it contains explicit language and descriptions of sexual scenes. However, I would not recommend this book to people suffering from any addictions, simply because the author does not focus on recovery, but rather on his narrow, almost incredulous escape.
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Having a Bad Life, is plainspoken with less of the novel technique, which makes it more like an exhaustive autobiography nevertheless I give this book 4 out of 4 stars. The book is well edited and the author managed to draw my attention in such a way that I could read the book in one go. I could sympathise with Kempfer and accompany him through his excruciating life journey.
******
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Having a Bad Life
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes